Alone All Along

Back To The Past

I sat on the floor of Grayson and I's bedroom, packing clothes for Vegas. Danielle came in and sat down. Her and Ethan worked things out, but Ethan has been treating me like shit lately because Jeremy is my friend. 

"So... Vegas? With Jeremy?" she asked. I looked up at her and nodded slowly. 

"Yea, he asked if I would come." I said. Ethan stood in the doorway. 

"Why don't you just stay there? Like, with him. Leave Grayson be and just go back to wherever the hell you came from." Ethan said. My heart about stopped. We used to be so close. I never in a million years thought Ethan would say that to me. 

"ETHAN!! Don't you ever say that shit again!" Danielle yelled.

"No, think about it though. She runs off with some Diego guy. We are out searching for her and everyone is fighting. Then she brings Jeremy in the picture and we all know what happened with that. Fucking asshole. Now, she bringing weed in my house and acting like she owns the fucking place. Well, you don't, Cayla. So, yea. Go to Vegas with your fuck boy and don't come back. Grayson was doing well without you 2 years ago, he can do it again."  he continued. 

I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I stormed out of the room, passing Grayson in the hallway and pushing him out of my way. I walked out to the porch. Danielle came out shortly after I did, followed by Grayson and Ethan. 

"Can I get no privacy?" I yelled. Grayson came up to me and out his hands on my waist. 

"Not when your'e crying babe. What's wrong?" he asked. 

I looked over at Ethan and he gave me the dirtiest look which broke my heart a little more. "It's nothing, Gray. I was thinking about Vegas and my past and it got me a little emotional is all." I said. 

"Yea, are you sure you even want to go?" Grayson asked. I looked Ethan in the eyes.

"Yes. I wan't to go. I'm just afraid I wont want to come back." I said. 

~~2 Hours Later~~

There was a knock on the door. I got my bags and ran to the door, flinging it open. 

"JEREMY!!" I yelled, hugging him as tight as I could. He smiled at me and looked inside the door, staring right at Ethan. Jeremy grabbed my bags and started walking out. 

"Cayla.." Ethan said. I stopped and turned to look at him. He walked up to me and I thought he was going to apologize or something. "I meant what I said, though. It's nothing against you. Your'e just not a match with Grayson. Just stay there. I'll help Grayson through it. I'll have Danielle pack up the rest of your tings and take them to you some other time. Just please... leave us all alone." he said. Tears fell down my face as i nodded slowly and turned around to walk out the hall way. 

"Cayla!" I heard. Grayson ran out the door, grabbing my face and kissing me. "Have fun, baby. I'm going to miss you so much! I love you, okay?" he said. I looked over at Ethan, begging the tears not to fall from my eyes. 

"I'll miss you, too, Grayson." I said. And with that I caught up to Jeremy and we walked out. We got to his car and put my stuff in the back. Then we both got in the front seats and drove away. 

"What's wrong?" he asked. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"I know you, Cay. That guy Ethan said something to you, didn't he?" he asked. I let it out and started bawling. I could do that around Jeremy because we were so close at one point and he never judges me for anything. 

"I'm not going back there. I wont go back to LA." I said. 

"Wait what? What about Grayson? The wedding?" he asked. 

"I don't care. It's done. I will not come back. I wanna stay with you." I said. He smiled. 

"With me?" He asked. I nodded. 

"Your'e pretty much the only friend i have right now. Actually your'e the only real friend I've ever had! I'm happy when I'm with you. Plus... Ethan told me not to come back and he was packing the rest of my things while I was gone." I said. 

"Fuck. It's because of me, isn't it? Danielle told me that her and Ethan were just friends and the only reason she lives with him is because your'e her best friend and you live there." He said. 

"Everyone is so fake, these days." I said. He laughed and agreed and then plugged in his aux cord. 

"Maybe we should listen to some Speed Gang." he said. 

"YESSS!" I screamed. He gave me his phone and I picked the song. It was called "Bankroll Fresh"

I didn't know Jeremy's music was this good. Holy shit. I was happy in the car. I was dancing. Smoking. Laughing. Having more fun than I'd had in months. This is how my life is suppose to be. 

Hours later we made it to Vegas and as soon as i saw that sign a wave of emotions hit me hard. I hadn't been to this place in a long ass time. "Shit, it's been forever since I've been here." I said. 

"Yea, me too. Brings back a lot of memories." he said. I felt it. We drove past all the stores and restaurants we used to go to and start so much trouble. "Hey, I thought we could visit someone before we went to the hotel." he said. 

"Your mom?" I asked. He shook his head. 

"We'll see her tomorrow. This is someone I've been wanting to see for a while." He said. He took a turn and as soon as I saw the church, I knew exactly where we were going. My heart was pounding and I was getting chills. I prepared myself for what I was about to see. We parked the car and got out. Jeremy stuck close beside me and I could see the pure sadness in his eyes. We walked through the grave yard until we came to the right one. 

"Hey, Lukey." I said. Immediately i began crying. When Luke died, they engraved his last note on the back of the head stone. I read it and I couldn't believe he'd been gone this long. 

"I made a song out of his note. I won't release it because its something so private to me. But i'm going to have you listen to it. Is that okay Luke?" he asked, looking at the dull grave. 

I held on to Jeremy and hugged him. We used to hang out in this grave yard, drinking, smoking, and having fun. Never in a million years did I think we'd all be here again but one of us would be part of the ground. 

"I miss you so much." I whispered, before we walked back to the car. Jeremy turned on a song called "Suicide Goodbye" which he made out of Luke's note. I had no words at all.