Mind Of A Beast Heart To The Streets

Chapter 5: Stormy

Get the fuck up out the bed and get ready for school!” Is how I was greeted as my eyes popped open to my aunt’s deep voice with pots getting banged together. This was what I had grown accustomed to.

Every morning, it was the same routine. I was either slapped out of my sleep, yelled at, or got woke up by pots and pans . I sat up in the bed and looked around the room that I shared with my three smaller cousins, who were still peacefully sleeping in their beds. I took one look at my aunt as she hovered over me and I did the same thing that I would do every morning. I prayed for her.

I was living in a fucked up situation, but I knew for a fact that my present would not be my future, so the shit that I dealt with while living here, I took it. Yes, sometimes I wanted to just give up on life all together but I felt like that was for losers and I didn’t want to take that route. It was times when I felt like everything that I endure was because of my mom.

Her and my aunt was bestfriends and my aunt consistently told me stories of how my mom use to treat her like an outcast. At first I didn't want to believe it but when you have someone in your ear everyday it makes it hard to not find a reason to believe it.

“Hurry the fuck up! and don't won’t wake up my damn kids!” my aunt barked at me, as I made my way into the bathroom, located in the hallway. Walking inside the bathroom, I turned the light on and closed the door behind me, making sure to lock it. I took a minute to just stare at myself in the mirror like I did every morning.

I tried to think of something positive about myself to say that would make the day go by better, but it was just so damn hard. When you’re living in a house with people who absolutely hate you, continuously talk down on you, and make you feel like shit any chance they get, you start to believe those things. You began to think that maybe the things that they are saying about you are true.

A lone tear dropped from my eye and I quickly wiped it away.
I was sixteen and a senior in high school. When I was in fifth grade the district gave me a test that helped me skip a grade. My guardian had to sign the papers to allow it but now looking back on it I'm thankful that I wasn't staying with my aunt around that time. I actually moved with her when I first entered seventh grade. At first she was giving and nice well that's until my case workers left, then she was mean and rude. I prayed that it was a mistake with the paperwork.

But they never came back, well only to check up on me and to bring me food, toys and clothes. I cried every night hoping that my case workers would come and get me.

I noticed the bags under my eyes, which were caused by me having to work late nights and then catch a bus to come home and do homework. Which would leave me to get in my bed every night around three in the morning, and have to be up every morning at six, so I could make it to school by 7:20.

My aunt told me that the only way I would be able to continue staying in her house is if I went and got me a job. Which is why I currently work at Denny's. Sad part about it is my aunt takes my paycheck from me every two weeks and calls it my portion of the rent. Which wasn’t fair at all because her oldest daughter, my oldest cousin Dede, lived there rent free. She was 26 years old, with no high school diploma, and all she did was sit around the house and fuck with me every chance that she got.

When I finished putting on my uniform, I threw on my all pink vans that I got from the thrift shop, made sure that I had my work uniform in my book bag for work tonight and I was about to walk out the door, until I hear my aunt day something. "Bring yo' ass straight home." She said.

I didn't know for the life of me why she always had to pick something to say that didn't really mean shit. She knew got damn well, I went to school, to work and back home. I just don't understand.

As I walked to school, I said a silent prayer asking for to help me battle all of my demons and make it through the day, we didn’t quite live in the best neighborhood, and every time I turned on the news, I would always see that there has been some sort of shooting. I'm not going to lie I was always scared that one day it would be me who made the news. Maybe my aunt will like that. Maybe she wouldn't even shed a tear, if I died.

“Hey  Mia,” I said, with the biggest smile on my face, as soon as I neared the table. I watched as the group of girls took in my appearance and stared at me like I was beneath them. I sort of felt out of place because even in a school uniform, these girls made it look like they had just stepped foot from out of one of those expensive ass shopping stores. They all wore makeup and had designer bags, while I had my, old off brand book bag on my shoulders, kind of weighing me down in the process. “ You need to wear a new shirt every day to school. That is so dirty. Isn’t that the same spaghetti sauce that you got Monday from lunch?”  Mia asked me and immediately. The smile was wiped from my face. I know what you're thinking, but truth be told I'm used to Mia down playing me in front of her friends. But, I live by the old saying 'every dog has its day'.

I threw away my breakfast, losing my appetite, and quickly walked to the nearest bathroom. Once I got inside, I set my textbooks down on the dirty sink and grabbed a few paper towels, wet them and tried my best to clean the stain that I had gotten on my shirt yesterday at lunch.

12:51 P.M.  I was tired and all I wanted was to get some sleep. I was tired of going to work everyday and not being able to spend my own money. I had just gotten off the bus and was walking into my apartment complex. It was a busy tonight at work, and my body was physically and mentally drained. I walked with my backpack hanging off one shoulder, with both of my textbooks in my hands. I normally left my textbooks at home, but I had a test tomorrow. So, I chose to bring them along and get some studying done on my lunch break and while I waited to clock into work, since I generally would get there about thirty minutes earlier. As I was about to walk up the steps, I noticed that there was a big commotion going on.

I turned around and it was the same dude from the other night.

"Aye the fuck you doing out here so late. Take your ass inside, it ain't safe out here." He said. I walked over to my books and jogged up the stairs.
"Goodnight, and thank you." I said, halfway up.
He waited until he thought I was okay and safely in the house then sped off.