Cityscapes (Jumin Han x OC)

Chapter 15

Kiss me until I forget how terrified I am of everything wrong with my life.

Beau Taplin

~

"How long do you give it before the paparazzi shows up?" I asked, hiding my face behind the menu.

"Miran, we're in a private room. You don't have to hide your face," he said, pressing the menu down with his fingers.

"I don't like this. I'm so worried that my face will be blasted across everything. Next thing you know all of Korea thinks I'm pregnant with your child, having an affair, and have a terminal illness."

Jumin near face palmed. "It's sad because you're not wrong. But you shouldn't worry about that. They can't take pictures of you in here."

"I'm still not into this whole hiding away in a secret room thing."

"I can't make you happy, can I?" he asked smirking.

"Well, I'm certainly not easy."

"Trust me, I never though that, Miran," he said, chuckling. Again, he grabbed his arm. It was the gentlest thing about Jumin. Even when his words were sharp and overconfident, his laughter was soft and shy.

I ordered a salad, based off of Jumin ordering similary. We drank a glass of wine each. He made good conversation. A rare quality.

"So, do you have any siblings?" He asked after taking a sip of wine.

"No...my parent's were already close to a divorce before I was born."

"When did they divorce?" He asked.

"While I was in college," I explained.

"That sounds...healthy," he said. "Mmm. My father just got remarried and it transformed into a traumatic experience. You know how it goes when someone like my father is single. He doesn't last long."

"Sounds like we both had extremely healthy childhoods. Did you at least see your mom?"

"Barely. But I missed her. You get a really strong sense of who someone is even when they seemingly dissapear from your life. I knew I needed her. But I turned out fine. I wonder about my siblings though."

"You have...siblings?"

"Step siblings. My stepmother had children before she met my father. I'm my father's only child though. Thankfully. Don't get me wrong though. My father is a very good father, and we have a very good relationship."

"I still can't believe you have siblings."

"Well...they hate C&R. They hate my father. They're all adults though," he said, shrugging.

"Makes sense..."

And silence fell. He was so interesting though, it wasn't awkward. It was well timed silence and it didn't bother me. As we left, I was thankful not to see any paparazzi. He returned me to my apartment. On the way in the car, he showed me a gift he'd gotten from Rika. An amazing book it seemed. He was excited to read it. He even walked me up.

"I'll try and give you answers about what we discussed by the end of the week, Miran," he said, clearly considering my concerns.

"Thanks, Jumin," I said unlocking the door. I opened the door and he maintained this eye contact on me.

"Bye, Jumin," I said, closing the door. My God. I already miss him. I already want to see that face again. I already want to be with him. That's not fair. That's not at all right. I wanted all this time to be away, but now I suddenly wanted to desperately be with him. I couldn't believe what he'd done to me just over this short time I've known him. This feeling of attraction at the party, to this deep emotion of...something larger than a crush. And it's so improper.

And if only he knew! If he told me that he felt the same way, I have no doubt that I might jump for joy. If he told me he felt this desperate need to be near me, I would accept it. I'm not sure Jumin understands, but I inequivocally I want to be surrounded by traces of him. There is some strange feeling in recognizing that someone is something else to you.

I sat there for only a few minutes, until I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and saw Jumin.

"I figured out my feelings for you," he said, plainly. He came into my apartment without invitation and looked at me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled my face close to his. Was he...is he...

And he didn't. He looked into my eyes, and let go of me. He left out, and closed the door behind him.

Jumin Han was about to kiss me and instead he disappeared without a second thought.