talk! | matty healy

ugh!

**mature content (keep scrolling)

-matty's p.o.v-

she was straddling me, her knees digging into the silk bedsheets as she kissed down my neck and chest. soft grunts escaping my mouth as she grinded against my hard and quickly shifted her panties to the side, pushing herself onto my shaft.
"hmm matty" my hands trailed down her tanned body, our mouths connecting as she rode me and i groaned against her lips. i flipped her over so i was on top, thrusting a little faster and making her whimper with pleasure as i rubbed over her sensitive spot with my thumb.

"wake up you dickhead" i sat up as george hit me around the head with a pillow and i felt the cold sweat that clinged to my body. i'd been missing olivia so much that i'd started dreaming about her. "sort yourself out, you know we have a show today and you get wrecked the night before" he dropped the pillow, sticking his thumbs up sarcastically as he walked out of my hotel room and i felt my head pulsating.

i groaned before realised the rising feeling in my stomach, jumping up and running into the en suite. i collapsed over the toilet, retching on the floor alone and throwing my guts up.
"fuck" i leaned back, my breathing unsteady and i shakily wiped the sweat from my face before pulling myself up, flushing my vomit away.

i held two fingers to my wrist, checking for my pulse for a moment and feeling the unusual regular beat. sighing, i turned the shower on and started brushing my teeth as i looked in the cabinet mirror. my bloodshot sunken eyes couldn't focus, there was a little blood around my nose and blotches all over my face.

i was a fucking wreck without olivia.

finishing in the shower, it took all the strength i had not to have a breakdown before i managed to get dressed, pack my suitcase again and go back to the tour bus. george was leaning against the bus in the sun, a fag in his mouth as he spoke to lauren who was holding her phone, looking concerned.

"tell her not to worry too much, i'll make sure nothing happens" george gave lauren a quick hug as i trudged onto the bus, pulling my suitcase up the steps to see adam, ross and mia sitting in the back. mia was smirking at me, i couldn't see what she'd find funny about me feeling like death after going out.
"hangover?" mia pushed her dark hair behind her shoulders so i could see her cleavage as she smirked. she knew i hadn't drank last night, she knew exactly why i felt like shit.

i pushed my suitcase under my bed, collapsing onto my sheets and didn't bother replying to her. george came in, holding lauren's hand and lauren laid on him as he went on his own bed.
"do we have any painkillers, george?" he nodded, slipping out from under lauren and going into the back before bringing me back a few pills and a bottle of water.

i checked my phone after taking the pills, seeing i had no new messages from olivia, i really wasn't coping well without her.

12:06pm
i miss and love you so much baby, i hope you're okay x

i knew i'd picked up the phone to her last night when i was absolutely out of it but i couldn't remember what i'd said or what i was doing. i sent it and sat back as the bus started driving, i didn't have drugs pumping through my body so i actually had the ability to think straight. drugs, family, girls, depression? what was happening?

the bus was filled with noise but everything sounded distant and irrelevant in my thoughts as i stared at the bottom of the adam's bed that sat above me. i quickly wiped at my eyes, feeling completely disconnected and disoriented before turning over to the wall.

"you'd sleep for england matty" i felt a hand on my bicep, shaking me slightly and i opened my eyes as lauren gave me another bottle of water. "we're here" she gave a short, forced smile and walked off the bus. i recollected my thoughts from earlier, quickly grabbing my phone to check for messages.

4:12pm
olivia: i have my exams in a week:(

that was it, she hadn't paid attention or replied to my message but i didn't ponder on it for too long as i sent her a message back, saying good luck.
"hola, we're in spain" mia quickly straddled me as i was on my bed, winking. i moved my legs from under her and jumping out of the bus, seeing lauren walking up to a restaurant and i caught her up.

"is it france next?" i walked next to lauren, pushing my hair back. i never really knew where we were.
"i think so. paris after you're done in spain" i nodded, adding up the days and doing the maths.
"that means liv is gonna come to paris?" i smiled as i thought about her but quickly stopped as my heart seemed to ache.
"yeah" lauren said it bluntly, pushing open the restaurant door and scanned the place for the other guys. "did you get drunk last night?" she stayed with her gaze on the boys, looking completely placid as we slowly walked over to them.

i was slightly taken aback at the sudden change of conversation and lack of emotion from her.
"uh-u why?- like, i can't really remember" she didn't say anything else as she slid into the booth next to george, seeming pretty pissed off. the restaurant door opened again and mia walked over and sat next to me, not making eye contact and we all started a general conversation.

the waiter came over, asking us for our orders and soon after brought us drinks. i sipped on my beer, feeling something trailing up and down my leg so i put my drink on the table, looking down. mia was tracing over jeans, moving her hand close to my crotch, a baggy held between her index and middle finger. she saw me look and slid it up my leg, stuffing it into my waistband.

i have no idea why she did that, giving me cocaine whenever i ignored her or tried to stop for a few hours. but who was i kidding? i fucking loved the stuff.
"i need a piss" i looked to mia and she slid out of the booth, letting me get out before sitting down next to adam again and i made my way to the toilets.

one more line. i threw my head back after snorting the powder, sniffing a bit more and swallowing. i put the baggy in my back pocket, pushing myself up from my knees and felt my phone buzz again.

4:36pm
olivia: the police are back x

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ahhh idk this is kinda a filler chapter until olivia meets the boys in paris💖
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