talk! | matty healy

talk! (the end)

this is my profile photo for the person who asked for it ! :))

-matty's p.o.v-

i had my hands wrapped around olivia's stomach, holding her close to me as we sat in a field, the cool morning breeze rushing through the wheat. i'd brought her out early to watch the sun rise, i was actually surprised she'd woken up after the late night before.

the river gushed downhill slightly, the orange english light from the sunrise glistening on the water and igniting the dark sky. i rested my chin on olivia's shoulder, breathing in the familiar smell of her hair that had always seemed to calm me.

we sat there for a while in silence, liv was wearing my hoodie that we'd bought before tour and chewing on the drawstrings- i didn't mind, i liked her leaving her mark on my things.
"do you believe in demons?" she croaked up from the silence, talking quietly.
"i'm not sure... do you?" i took a strand of her hair in between my finger and thumb, twisting it lightly.
"i used to" she leaned back a little more and i felt her relax, breathing steadily.

a few more moments of silent passed before she took my arm and started gliding her fingertip along my skin, drawing unspecified shapes.
"ryan took something once- coke, i think... we got in an argument and he got a lot more violent than usual" i held her tighter, my brows furrowing with worry at what he'd done.
"i thought i was going to die when he beat me so bad- but i just blacked out" i immediately felt sick and my eyes pricked at what she'd said.

"why have you never told me this?" i held her waist, turning her to the side to look at me.
"i don't like talking about it" she played with the hem of the sleeve before looking up at me.
"but i'm really happy matty... you've been so good to me" her soft lips met mine and i held onto her jaw, skimming my thumb over her cheek.

she parted from me, resting her head on my shoulder and looking at the horizon again where half of the sun had risen and was illuminating the clouds.
"that's why i got so worried when i found out that you used coke" i combed through her hair with my fingers, feeling guilt wash over me. "i thought you'd get aggressive"

"i'm sorry baby... i know i wasn't myself when i used it but i'd never lay my hands on you like that" i held her tightly to my chest, stroking over the fabric of my hoodie. i rocked her in my arms for a little while, her body warm against mine. "i first used it at a party when i was about nineteen"

she sat up, crossing her legs and looking at me as i spoke with my hand on her thigh.
"when our music was doing well, my family life went to shit so i went back to the coke and just used it more and more- got addicted" i thought back to ross' party that i'd taken her to and the state she'd found me in- and all the times after that. her neat little brows raised a little, making her forehead wrinkle with sympathetic sadness.

"but fucking hell- am i lucky to have you or what?" i leaned over to her, grabbing her stomach and pinning her to the ground, tickling her as her legs thrashed around. she giggled and screamed before i let go, moving my fingers down her leggings as she laid over the grass.

"get off" she giggled, pushing me off as i flopped down next to her. "we shouldn't get carried away in a field babe, we'll probably get shot or fall into the river" she sat up, smirking, and gazed over the field. the sun was beaming in the blue sky and i knew the others at the house would be wondering where we were.

"do you think you want kids, matty?" olivia looked back at me as i laid on the ground and the sun shon behind her, creating a halo around her head.
"yeah- one day liv" i smiled and she nodded nonchalantly- she'd talked about this before and i knew she wanted to be a mum one day.

she turned back around and the sun made her a silhouette as her hair blew around.
"i wanna marry you" i barely realised i'd said it as she snapped her head back around.
"you what?" i pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, sitting up and i decided then and there to tell her what i wanted to say at the wedding.

"i adore you olivia and every time you talk about kids i want to tell you that i actually wanna have your babies" i laughed as i realised what i was saying, it was mad but i meant it. she bit her lip, smiling and i held onto her delicate little hand.
"you're the best thing that's happened to me, you've helped me get clean and stay happy- it- it's not living if it's not with you" she smiled, moving herself so she was sitting on my thighs and pulled me into a tight hug.

"you really feel like this? i've been worrying a bit because of what tom said at your cousin's wedding... how you have a new girl every week" she sat back, playing with one of my curls and biting her lip. i sighed, holding onto her waist.
"yeah and i used to be like that- admittedly i only wanted to hook up with you to start with because i thought you were hot but..." i looked up, pulling her closer to me. "i've fallen in love with you"

she sat there for a while in silence, processing everything i'd said and i waited for her to catch up- not saying anything.
"tell me to do something matty- whatever you want" my mind immediately thought of inappropriate things but i quickly realised what she meant.

"tell me how you honestly feel, gorgeous" i held her hand, worried that i'd said too much.
"i feel exactly the same, matty" she chewed her lip, looking away from me. "and that's what i'm scared of- of getting my heart broken" i sighed, holding her hand as i reached in my back pocket.
"i'm not going to break your heart" i pulled out the little black box that i'd been keeping for a while and pushed it into her palm.

she looked up at me from the box, before looking back at it and carefully opening it. she lifted the bracelet out, the fraying string was decorated with various beads and charms.
"i made it when i was away from you for three months in my hotel room... the coke ruined me and i missed you so much" i talked so quietly, studying her face. "the beads and charms are from different necklaces and bracelets of mine"

her mouth curled up into that familiar beautiful smile and she put the bracelet onto her wrist.
"i do love you, boner boy" i smiled at the old nickname before she pushed her mouth to mine- at first it was hard and passionate before she slowed down, her fingers getting lost in my curls and my hands trailing all over her.

we finally parted and i leaned my forehead against hers, rubbing the sides of her body slowly.
"so are we gonna get a house together?" i chuckled lightly, kissing her on the nose before biting my lip.
"yeah babe- a big house with millions of beautiful children and dogs and cats and a swimming pool, whatever you want" i slid my hands up the jumper slightly, feeling her warm skin against mine.

"i'm not sure about the millions of children" she laughed lightly, before yawning and resting her head on my chest.
"let's get home poppet" i smiled as she stood up from my lap and i pushed myself off of the ground, reaching in my pocket again and shoving a little piece of paper in her hand.
"you left it in my bedroom back in london when we first met and i put it in my suitcase when we left for tour"

she unfolded the old crumpled paper, her eyes scanning over the list or things that she wanted to achieve.

-graduate
-break up
-travel
-be happy
-quit smoking
-fall in love

"i forgot about this..." she smoothed the paper down as we stopped walking, smiling profusely. she pushed her hand in her pocket, bringing out a little blue pen and crossing every one off except from 'quit smoking'.

she folded the paper up again, pushing it into her pocket as i handed her a celebratory joint.
"you can quit tomorrow" i smiled, watching her light it and inhale, taking me back to the night on the hill. i'd never been so happy, so content and if i had a list of what i wanted to achieve- i'd have every fucking one crossed off.

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sorry if the ending is shitty but - oh my god!! it's the end of the story (maybe) and i'm so happy with how much of you guys have liked it... i've had so much fun writing :)

so... the introduction to my new fic 'cliché' is up now and the first chapter will be up really soon! @rrosesforhealy don't forget to follow me and add the new fic to your library so you don't miss it!

thank you so so so so much everybody 💗