The Future isn't Bright

Five

I looked out my window at the surrounding landscape. The synthetic grass shimmered under the hot sunlight. I can't remember a time when the temperature was under 105 degrees Fahrenheit. Some days, I didn't want to go outside because of the heat intensity. Oslo was kind of like the sun: present, yet too intense at some points during the day, when it had to be avoided. I didn’t know why I found myself thinking about him in the first place. A lot of today's thoughts were fueled by no other than Oslo's actions. In a way, he had some serious courage to speak his mind. In another way, he was insane enough to say all those things with no fear of consequences. I decided that I was overthinking what had happened today.

My first Gathering had left me in a state of distracted self-reflection. Elle didn't make any attempt to start conversation either, making me feel slightly guilty for dragging her into the mess I created. The thirty minute car ride seemed to wear on forever. The noise of Elle picking at her nails made me look at her. She gave me a wry smile of perfect teeth and I simply turned around and continued looking out the window. I had had a long day.  

Once we finally arrived at the house, I ran inside without waiting on Elle. I rushed to my room and immediately changed into some comfortable clothes. Out of my walk-in closet, I chose a yellow tank top and some linen shorts. I rummaged under my bed for my tennis shoes and headed outside.  

As soon as I stepped through the back door I slammed it shut behind me, not really knowing the source of my sudden frustration. I ran over to the specific shrub and felt for my slingshot. It was in the same position as I had left it this morning. It got tangled within some of the fake leaves, so I yanked it out aggressively.

Next, I gathered some perfectly round rocks off of the ground and slid them all into my pocket but one, which I was warming in my clenched hand. I headed deeper into the backyard until I spotted a family birds. They were calmly sitting in the fake grass, bunched together, free to do whatever they pleased. My brain managed to register my arm pulling the elastic band back. It took about five seconds to realize that I had released. It took ten more to register that I almost never missed: I knocked it dead. Slingshots were, in fact, instruments of evil. At least that's the way Mother put it. I ran over to the bird and inspected it with a fresh pool of tears building behind my eyes, my body numbing. I picked it up, dropping my slingshot on the ground. I killed a bird. I robbed it of its life. I felt my eyes getting puffy for the second time today. I seemed to have a habit of ruining people’s, or animals’, lives. I tucked it under one arm and wiped my face with the other, climbing the tree where the family was. It didn’t take long to locate their nest, into which I gently placed the bloody bird.

My feet only fumbled for a moment when they hit the ground after jumping off of the tree, and then they took me straight inside, where I managed to rush into the nearest bathroom without getting the door handle bloody with my hands. I turned the faucet on with the back of my hand and scrubbed my hands raw. Once the visible traces were gone, I wiped my hands on the towel and caught my reflection in the mirror. My pupils were dilated and my face was pale, except for my rosy cheeks. I had a tough time recognizing myself. I decided that I needed to calm down.  

I needed to talk to someone, and I happened to know just who to talk to. I ran back upstairs, running up them two or three at a time while avoiding Mother’s room, and slipped into Grandmother's room. She happened to be reading a book. I knocked on her open door. She looked up and smiled.

“Donna! Come in,” she scooched over on her bed, allowing me some sitting space. I ran over to her and laid down like a child,telling her about the Gathering, and about the bird. She nodded every once in a while to show she was listening.  

"I don't know what to think of all this!" I finally finished. She set her book down on her bedside table.

"Do you wanna know what I think of all this?" she asked. I nodded my head curtly.