The Lost Elements Without a Sky

Day 1: The News

-Gokudera's POV-

I felt as though time froze around me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't function.

My brain struggled to take in the words being said by a trusted messenger of the Vongola.

His mouth opened and closed but the words said were not registered into my brain. The only words I've heard were: "The Decimo is gone." And everything went blank in my head. Everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion. The world was moving but I was frozen still.

A mix of emotions were surging through me; anger, rage, confusion, agony, sadness, despair, disbelief and lastly, hopelessness.

I wanted to yell at the messenger and tell him that he's lying. To scream at him like what Lambo is doing now. I wanted to cry at the reality of it like how Chrome was crying. I wanted to vent my anger at the nearest object like what the Lawn-head was doing. I wanted to walk away and sulk alone in my room like what the Skylark was doing. I wanted to disappear like what Mukuro did. I wanted to despair so badly like what the baseball idiot was doing.

But no.

"Take care of the Vongola while I'm gone." He had cheerfully said to me as he left.

Despite the turmoil of emotions in me, these last words from him before he disappeared along with the fact that I'm now the official Right-hand man of the Decimo resonates within me. That means that in his absence, I have to take charge--even if it means throwing all my emotions and grief away. I have to stand strong and protect the Vongola that my boss has entrusted me to. I know that's what he'd want and I'm going to live up to it.

<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

Walking into Juudaime's room, I stiffened when I thought I saw a silhouette of him sitting at his desk, but it was just a trick of my own imagination. I slapped myself across the face for letting myself get like hopeful and focus on the task at hand.

The others were all out. They didn't want to believe that Juudaime is gone and went to the site where he was last seen. But I doubt they'd find anything there. We all heard reports of the fight and the aftermath of it. There isn't anything left alive. Not one bit at all.

Of course, I wanted to go with them. I desperately wanted something—a clue, a hint, just something that suggest that my boss is safe and alive. But if I go, then there will be no one left in the mansion to take care of the paperwork.

In the aftermath of the war, many people were left either injured or homeless. The Vongola had immediately came to their rescue and provided the sufficient support they need to rebuild their lives again. Thus right now, there isn't enough people left in the mansion and I couldn't possibly leave too and leave the mansion unguarded. I have to protect the Vongola that Juudaime worked so hard to build. I have to.

And these are the words I kept repeating to myself as I struggled to get by each day. Some thought I was being cold and unfeeling. I heard the whispers and the cold eyes from others as I walked past them. But I won't let that bother me at all. Juudaime has always been the one who understood me the best and that's all it matters.

'But what does it matter now, now that he's gone?'

That realization struck me one day out of the blue and left me defenseless.

'What does anything matter now? He's gone. The only person you dedicate your life to is gone. You failed. You failed as his right-hand man and yet now you say you're doing all this because you're the right-hand man?

You failed your job. End of story. No amount of redemption can save you now. That person will never come back. Your place here is gone. You're alone once again.'

These dark thoughts plunged into me, drowning me with its suffocating words. And I couldn't get out of it.

'Oh. I see. This is my punishment for failing to protect you.' I realized.

I was supposed to be the turbulent Storm that blows away all obstacles but in the end, I wasn't able to do shit. You protected me instead, as you always had been even though it should have been the other way round. You were always like that, protecting me even way back then. You stood up for me when no one else would. You see past my attitude and you didn't even flinch away in disgust when you heard that I was an illegitimate child as others had. You accepted me wholeheartedly. And what did I do in return? I failed you.

If this is my punishment for failing you, then I'll gladly take it.

And at the end, will I finally be able to see you again, my Sky?

Ah....How I wish that day could come soon. Hurry and end it so that the Storm can return to the Sky again. But for now, I'll hold on and protect the Vongola that you spend your life to build till the day I die.

I wonder then, will it be enough to atone for my failure?