Yeah I had just visited Texas for a few days to get away from all the bullshit of my home state. I started dating a boy named Luis, Onalee's ex. It was amazing till one day....
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Second time of dating Luis. I loved him more than I had about anyone for a long time. But something was off from the last time we dated. Turns out, he had a side girl/boy, I don't know the gender. So he left me again. I was alone for the last time. So I thought.
Onalee and me after that had a falling out. We hadn't spoke and I heard she tried dying so I was under my bed, crying. I blamed myself, I blamed myself for being the stupid idiot I was - gay. I realized I was gay. Fully gay and it wasn't fun.
It wasn't fun for three main reasons: 1. I'm a Christian.
2. My parents don't know I'm gay.
3. I love her.
Yes. Your probably thinking by now "oh Brittany there is no future for gay people. They are ignorant. They are selfish. And will never have a family or a job." Terribly true yet I am anyways. A unforgettable future to never happen. That's why I went out with Chris again.... I didn't love him and I never fully would, not the way I did her.
I tried the best I could to get over her prayer, meditation, games, and drawing. None could successfully get her out of my mind. That's when I gave up on life. I gave up Saturday and just sat there, pulling my knees to my chest and getting my nail file kit. That's when she said it.
She said the words my aching heart wanted to hear at 2am.... "I love you..."
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Gamer girl (true story)
Non-FictionGrowing up isn't so easy, especially if you get raped by your own uncle. Yeah. It happened 2 times and I never spoke a word. In this book, you will see rape, struggling sexuality, and depression. Video Games and YouTube are an outlet for me, as well...
