god among thieves // catfish

- him and i

we were both such
naive children back
in the day
where we'd both cheer up each
other in one's bad day
or where we'd have a mini cheer
of victory when we both snuck out of our homes in
the middle of the night
just so we can talk about our dreams about the world
we did it together
him and i

he once gave me a flower
that he picked up on his way home
saying that it was a good luck charm
for my spelling bee competition
he even kissed me
on the cheek
at such a young age
i suddenly knew how my mother felt
when she met father

i felt at peace whenever i was
with him
he made me feel
so complete in most days
he made me feel sad
in just one deep conversation
he made me feel excited
for when he shows me something new
he makes me feel angry
for when he does something that he
knows that i loathed

he makes me feel all
kinds of emotions
and somehow
it makes me feel special in a way
since i was the only one he acted
this way with
we had an even closer relationship
him and i

one day
he came to my house
so early in the morning
i asked him why he was here so early
he said he wanted to spend the whole day with me
and we did so
with gleeful smiles
almost without a care in the world
and with our hearts on our sleeves

as the day was coming to an end
he suddenly took me to our backyard where
we watched the sun's last moments of light
we stayed there until our parents called us back inside for dinner
even after that
we still headed outside
just to watch the
stars
he turned to me and asked
what would you do
if i just suddenly
disappeared
i reply with a small
i wont forget you, but
i'll be mad at you leaving
me and taking all that happiness with you
as selfish as it sounds—
he sat up as he pulled me along with him

i'll be leaving soon was what he said
please don't hate me

he leaned in
and then at some point
it felt like i was
seeing so much stars
so much sparks
it hit twelve am when he
kissed me
his passion overwhelmed me
to the point where i had to
close my eyes and ask myself

is this even a dream?

i must have thought it
out loud because he murmured
we wouldn't have been
together if it was a dream now
would we?
and at that one note
i felt melancholy
for just his words
there will no longer be an us
there won't be anyone that would
wake me up every morning just to
show me his high score in a game
there won't be another
for i only loved him, and him only

i treasured the moments
we had together because i
only did it for
him and i