god among thieves // catfish

- baby steps

i've been close but
so far behind
him almost everyday
i'm behind him for
most of the time
watching what his next move
would be or who he chooses
to stay with
all except me

i sit behind him
for most of our silent car rides
i wonder what's going
on in that head
of his
what is he thinking of
who is he thinking of
what does he feel throughout our morning rides
only to depart in the afternoon

i want to forget you
but it's hard not to
notice the little things you
do or when you decide
to make eye contact once
in a while

i don't see you often as
i used to before
i only ever see you in the
morning and rarely
during little cuts
of our breaks
you don't show yourself
as much
nor do you try speaking
to me since then

it's especially hard
to not notice you
when you and her walk home
together
you both walk far
to your own places
in different transportations
to where you'll both separate
again but will meet
in the morning like
always

but most importantly
how come i don't see you
smile around
me anymore
you don't even do a wave
back or even a simple hi
no interactions
no attention
whatsoever