Not my time / TVD

Motel

"On one condition" I looked at my uncle who was pulling in to a motel.

" And what's that then?" He put the car in neutral and turned to face me with his familiar smile.

I sighed and pulled my fringe back behind my ear " I know I'm sick but at the moment I don't want to think about it,but". I paused as Damon reached to get a small rucksack from the back seat.

"But" he teased waiting for me to continue, trying to spread light in the situation.

"But, I know I'm only going to get worse and I need you to be honest with me, how am I supposed to know what's going on if i don't know my self?"

I could tell I was getting frustrated, I don't know how much of my life has been hidden from me, how much of it is a lie.

" look Lydia, I promised to protect you and if that means hiding things then so be it, some thing I can't say but take this"
He reached into the rucksack and pulled out a small book, a familiar smell flooded the car yet I can recognise what it is, he placed the book onto my lap and patted it.
"There" he let out a long sigh.

I couldn't help but stair at the book, there was an odd sense of Home coming from it but I didn't pick it up, I froze whilst trying to remember whose it was,
"Lydia?" Damon new something was wrong, the odd silence was enough for anyone to tell something wasn't right.

" where'd you get this?" I was still confused-  I couldn't put the puzzle together, I knew deep down what it was but there was a door blocking me from reaching the answer.

" I took it the night she died" pain was in his voice "I figured it's time for you to know a bit more about your self, your true self"

He reached for the book knowing I wasn't in a state for touching it and put it in to the rucksack " take the bag and book us a room".
He nodded over to the dull lit office, I swung the bag over my shoulder and reached for the door handle
" your mother had many secrets, some she never told me."
"thank you Damon,"
We both got out of the car, I headed over to the dingy office, looking over my shoulder at Damon who was getting a duffle bag out the boot, he noticed my concern and smiled before he rushed to my side; putting an arm around my shoulders and pulling me in to a small hug making a smile grow on my face.

As Damon headed to the desk I let my mind wander, there's so much I still don't know and I'm not so sure I'm ready to find out- at that moment I realised that I left stiles' in a mess, he must be thinking of the worst, I reached Into my jacket pocket and searched for my phone unable to find it, panicking I started to scan the floor.

" looking for this" in his hand my vibrating phone, " Before you go all pysco i didn't go though it, and I told him to forget."
He flipped the phone and stiles' name appeared on the screen, rolling his eyes he extended his arm towards me.
I took the phone and grinned at my uncle before Turning and answering it. There's no point in my trying to get some privacy whist Damon was here.
Although I trust him not to be to nosey
I swiped a crossed the screen and slowly placed the phone to my ear scared of what was about to happen "heya Stiles,"
" hi, just a quickie but have you been over, I found your ring on the floor"
I looked at my hand and instantly realised the stone wasn't there,
" ah, I don't think I've been round"
Damon tapped my shoulder and insisted I pass the phone to him, I  send him a glare, wafting him away so I could think straight but before I could turn around he swipes the phone from my hand " Hey I-"
"Damon speaking"
"Oh I ehh, where Lydia ?"
" well Lydia is very buy right now and she can't speak at the moment any thing you have to say you can say to me ..." I don't know what it is about how Damon uses sarcasm in the most inappropriate moments but it annoys way more than it should, I grit my teeth earning a simple shrug of my uncle.

I shake my head and sigh in a sudden mood change, I swiftly turn in my heel and enter the office. The room was damp and had little and broken furniture, the wallpaper was torn and the bucket on the floor catching the gentle drip was enough to put me on edge.
I lift my head to meet the receptionist, who was glancing at her phone half heartily paying attention to her surroundings, I walk closer and ask for a two bed suite, after a while the girl handed me a set of cold keys,
"room 253, £34 please,"as she extends her arm I hand her the money and tel her to keep the change, I didn't want to spend another second in that room, it creeped me out...

I rushed out the building and scanned the car park for Damon, straining my eyes in the poor light. Soon enough he appears out from darkness
" what's up with you then" held voice sweet and calm
" I'm just tired" I rub my eyes and begin to feel my body ache " at least I think I'm tired, I can't figure any thing out these days" I admit, and to be honest the past days have been such a blur I just haven't been feeling myself.
" here, hold one kiddo" as I turn in confusion Damon picks me up bridal style " well you have had an even full day so you gotta give your self some credit" he shrugged laughing it off.
" think I'm a little old for this" motioning to the way he was carrying me. " I mean come on really" I let out a small chuckle shaking my head in disbelief.
————
A few hours later I found my self unable to sleep, to scared to sleep in case I had nightmares.
I turned in bed getting frustrated  at my own Restlessness. Trying not to wake my uncle in the next bed I reached for the rucksack pulling out the old book.
When I pulled it closer for a better look I lost all consecration in my mind searching for a answer, not fully understating what I was doing ,I hazily opened the cover and traced my fingers over my mother's name written in clear on the first page leaving a bloody smear .
I couldn't help but let my self go, let my self get lost in my own mind, no real understating of what I was doing I fell back onto the floor with a thug waking Damon who groaned before coming to his senses.
I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head, making my mind clearer to see, the vibrant images coming to life, for once I'd found a peaceful place without pain or fear.

But it didn't last long ...