Not my time / TVD

Dreamers Window

I felt my body hit the floor like a dead weight, my arms falling limp as Damon rushes over, kneeling above me. I could just about feel his harsh grasp on my shoulders fiercely shaking my ever growing numb body.
I hate the feeling of being useless and right now i was completely useless, I had no control of my body.

I wasn't ready to give up but some times it's hard to fight when you don't know what your really up against.
I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head and mentally took a deep breath not of defeat but one to brace my self for what was next to come.

Flashes of bright light filled my mind and soon enought the mixture of colour  came clear.
You know when you have a dream and your watching you self on the sideline but are also the main part of the dream, it's confusing I know but that's all I can sum up to describe what I'm going through.
The feeling of re living a memory but also Judging your decisions at the same time unable to tell your self to stop or re think what there about to do.

The room was hazy but I knew deep down I wasn't truly there, although the room was insanely familiar....
I slowly turn to scan the room only to relise I was in my old house from when my mother was alive. I walk over to the mantel piece, picking up a photo of my parents, they looked so happy something I don't remember.
After awhile I realise I was alone, the tv was static and the road was empty. Not going to lie but this was starting to creep me out yet I felt pulling at me not physically though.
—————

All I Day i was stuck in this dream and I knew there was something wrong. The aching in my stomach and the confusion in my Mind enought to put me in a haze of guilt and self pity when I hadn't done anything Wrong or at least I don't think I have.

And then it happened the strong impulses of old memories as if some one pressed play on the tape recorder as I re lived The flush of panic I got when I hadn't hear from her yet, I knew that was just me being paranoid. Yet I couldn't shake the feeling of concern it was there in the front of my mind blurring my line of vision.
Even my physical state was turning heads, the questions arose about me not her.
Being so close yet not sharing the connection makes you wonder if they can feel it to the ever going pain in your mind. It's not a personal emotion but a rising sickness that warns one another a connection between mother and daughter, one that can't be broken

I remember that All day the nausea never left, humming in my ear I waited by the window, waited for her to come home.
In my head I knew she wouldn't yet I still hoped like a child that I once was, nervously staring out the window.

Yet I noticed something this time round that I didn't previously, a-crossed the road was a lady. Staring right at me, not the younger version from the memory buy me.

I Hesitantly walk out the house and walk over to the lady, She smiled and placed a burning note on the floor, and before I could even process what was going on the lady spoke...

"You child are not pure" she raised her hand and started to choke me from the other side of the street.
Through my gasped for air and cry's of fear I stared right into the lady's cold eyes.
"You, need to know who you really are" the lady started to shake, stumbling backwards,  releasing her grip as she fell.
The second she hit the floor I screamed, springing back to life.
——-
I shot upright in the motel bed, screaming before taking in my surroundings.
My mind was racing and as I covered my face I felt the stream of blackness pouring from my nose, my eyes adjusting to the faint light.
My body was trembling and my breath was uneven, I felt the rise of panic bubble up inside me.

Little did I know the whole time Damon was holding me, desperately trying to calm me.
"LYDIA, kid what the hell are you doing!"
"I- i ahh" I couldn't form the words, my body was still tingling, I was so scared that all I could bring myself to do was close my eyes and wrap my hands around my uncle.
"Hey just, don't think about it." He pulled me closer. " I got you, I'm not leaving anytime soon."