Not my time / TVD

Well that's reassuring

As I pushed my face in to my uncle warming chest I felt his uneven breaths, his heart pounding. With my own confused state and his panicked the silence grew eerier, his hand pressed on my back and head.

I slowly lifted my head and calmed my breathing- whilst doing so trying to make sense of what I just went through. Holding my eyes shut, processing everything. I'm not good with this type of stuff, I over think, stress and get all worked up.
I can't-
I won't be able to deal with this!
I'm supposed to be a normal girl, with normal issues like her period or a long shot crush, not witches and the fear of me dying!

I take in a hard breath, frustrated of how much I've lose control of my own life.
Why can't I just be normal again. I pull my hand up to my face sobbing in to it, felling the thick back blood over my face, with tears in my eyes I stared at my hand covered in my darkened blood
" what the hell am I"? I whispered to my self more as a question than anything else.

I felt my uncle fall back on his hand with a sigh, I'd almost forgot he was here.
I lifted my head to look at him, my eyes rising from the ground up to his sorrow filled face. I felt ashamed his hands where covered on my blood, I didn't realise how bad all this was until now.
"I - ahh" I couldn't find the right words, the look on his face made me fell helpless, that look.

That look could kill you in seconds

The look of fear, fear of what's to come.

The look that explains every thing

"I'm not winning this fight. I'm not pure or innocent Damon" I lifted my head to meet his " I can't control this, I never could" my voice rising as I pushed myself away from him

" we'll figure this out Lydia" as he pulled him self up right holding his hand out to me " come on you gotta believe in your self, you can't rely on others" his face turned stern and grabbed my hand pulling me off the floor.
" You, Lydia are innocent" his hands held my shoulders firm almost shaking me. " You, are still you- Yh you've changed but not your not different kid."
He ran his blood covered hands down my arms so he could reach my hand,lifting them as he spoke
" Your brave, and strong- and best of all your a fighter okay" he look at my eyes his hand on my check
" you need to believe in your self because I can't lose you as-well"
I felt a tear leave my eye, he wiped it off my check and pulled me in to a tight I'm brace.
" I should get cleaned up" as I turned round I felt his hands fall down
" thank you, Damon" I walked in to the bath room and closed the door.

I rest my hand on lock knowing there's no reason to fasten it but at the  same time i don't trust my self anymore; not that a cheap lock will make any difference yet it's the feeling of concealing your self from the people you love to stop your self from hurting them.
I swiftly slide the bar and turn round leaning my head on the door closing my eyes for a second before turning on the shower and drawing the curtain.
I try to avoid the mirror not wanting to see the state of my own reflection.

I carefully pull of my clothes, Letting them fall on to the fall carefree before Stepping into the shower, flinching at the cold water- I found a sense of relief in the cold water as I moved my hands over my body to wash away the darkened blood- I hadn't realised how  much blood  a nose bleed could create, the bottom of the shower was black and   Ever so slightly thick creating a puddle in the unit I was standing it.
I didn't take my attention, I just continued to get lost in the flow of water, felling it hit my face and body was comforting.
I reached to my wrist to rise the last part of blood only to Realise the mark wasn't disappearing.
I lifted my wrist to my face to see that my veins were stained and the mark on my wrist was on the inside.

I heard a knock on the door " hey kid are you Okay"?
My heart was racing out of time as I turn of the shower " yea- yeah I'm okay I'll be out in a second"
"Lydia.." I heard the sigh in his voice
" come on- what's wrong"
As I wrapped a towel round my body, kicked my clothes to the corner of the room and unbolted the door, opening it to greet my conserved uncle, a slight smile grew on my face "can I help"?
He looks down at me and steps out of the way,
"So your okay" he question as he turns to face the wall so I could get dressed
I rush to get my clothes out of my bag and on.
" it- it's fine, nothings wrong" I stutter pulling my jean on.
"Hmm" the reply I was not wanting
I walk up to him and hold his shoulder, Letting him  know I was decent.

"It's"  That all he said- oh boy.

I pause and quickly glance to him before continuing to re pack my bag, before I could finish Damon rushers over and grabbed my wrist exposing it.
"I was gonna tell you" I lie, dropping my head.
"Hmmm, get some sleep, at the break of dawn we leave- we gotta get the Chicago before it's to late" clear anger in his voice. But why it's not like I've down anything major wrong- I only just found out myself ...

"Well that's reassuring"?? I look up to him, pulling my wrist back, covering it.