CrushED

-Chapter 3-

When I walk into school, I see the same faces I have always seen. The only different person is me.
Some people say hi, others open their mouths to say hello but immediately shut them after taking a look at me, and others sneak looks at me when they think I'm not looking.
I used to be well-liked at my school. I had many friends, and I was friends with popular people, like Lizzy.
I also used to plaster my face with cosmetics, so sometimes people didn't even recognize me while I walked through the halls.
As I walk through the halls, even teachers look at me weirdly, but most of them understand soon after, because the incident was well-known across the school.
I sit down in homeroom just as the bell rings. Then the teacher speaks.
"Sit down, class. Quiet please.
Ok, so..today we have a new student joining us. Some of you might know him, but he transferred classrooms, so everyone please welcome Caden."
Some people give him friendly waves, but I do not recognize him. And why did he transfer classrooms in the middle of the year?
As Caden sits down at his desk, he gives out flirtatious winks to the girls looking at him.
Cocky. I'm not going to associate with him much.
This is going to be a long first period.
*                                 *                                *
-Lunch-
"Hey, can I sit here?" I stand awkwardly beside a table with Lizzy, Raine, Ariana and Cassidy.
There were 2 empty seats at the table of 6.
Mine and Camrin's.
The four girls stared at eachother back and forth, until they came to an unspoken agreement.
Lizzy put her Prada purse on my seat, and Raine put her feet on the other chair.
I sighed, and decided to eat lunch on a bench at the edge of the cafeteria.
I pulled out my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and took a big bite, slumping in defeat.
Great. Now my friends hate me.
Is it really my fault that I still miss Camrin, though? Are my friends just insensitive? Am I-
I was lost in my thoughts until I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Hey," Caden winked, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Eating." I replied simply.
"Can I ask another question?" Caden continued, "Why do you look so messy? I mean, don't girls spend an hour doing their hair before school, and re-apply their makeup in the bathroom? You just look like..poop." He concluded.
I rolled my eyes, thinking about the last time someone told me I looked like manure. "Well, I'll put this very bluntly," I started, "My friend died."
Caden blinked a few times, taken aback from my blunt statement, but quickly regathered himself.
"Well, that's silly. I mean, I'll die one day." Caden gestures to himself, "And so will you." He points to me. "And yeah, people will miss us, but one day we'll all die, so really..what's the point of moping around about it? Am I right?" Caden smiles, looking proud.
Obviously this boy has had no respect for anything in his life. I'm not wasting my time talking to him.
I grab my lunch bag and walk away, leaving Caden on the bench by himself.
*                                 *                                *
I push open the door to my room, and barge in. I fall on my bed and just stare at the ceiling.
I wish Camrin was here.
It's really strange how one person can change your life.
After a minute of just doing nothing, I start to get sleepy. Then my eyes close, sending me to sleep.
-Flashback-
"Camrin, I'm home!" I yell out in our unusually dark townhouse.
For some reason, the lights are off.
"Why is it so dark? Are you okay-"
My voice cuts off when I put down my coat and bag and look forwards.
Blood.
Drops of blood stains the ground, and immediately I look up.
At first I couldn't believe my eyes.
There was a body dangling from the ceiling, with a rope attached to the neck.
-End of flashback-
I woke up panting and sweating. I sat up, and took a second to interpret my surroundings. It was a dream.
It's like life will not stop reminding me about how bad it has gotten.
* * *
I slam my locker shut and turn around to get to class, but against the lockers on the left wall, Lizzy and Raine stand there facing me. Lizzy holds a piece of paper up to her face, and Raine just stands beside her laughing.
The piece of paper Raine holds is a badly-drawn picture of me, barely recognizable as a human.
The two girls just stand there, laughing, waiting for my reaction.
Of course, I know that they want me to be upset, so I try not to show how upset I am.
This also happens in the middle of class when the teacher steps out of the room.
dear aquarius,
plz die
thx
-liz raine ari
On the back of the page, there's another badly drawn picture of me.
I crumple up the page and toss it on the ground.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
*                                 *                                *
I'm on my bed in my pajamas, scrolling through my phone. I look at some posts on Instagram about dogs, until I'm interrupted by a FaceTime request from...
My mother. Ugh.    
I press the 'accept' button, and my mother's face appears on the screen.
She wears an expensive dress, red lipstick and she has her hair styled.
"Hey, sweetie, what are you up to?" She asks.
I roll my eyes and reply;
"Nothing much. Why are you dressed up?"
Mom's face lights up when she hears my question.
"Oh, I know you don't like him, but tonight Jason is taking me out to an expensive, luxury restaurant! Did you know..."
I tune out my mom's useless blabber. All she cares about is herself, and her boyfriend, Jason. No one else. Not even me.
-Flashback, 8 years ago-
"Dinner's ready!" I hear my mother call out. Thank goodness. I'm starving.
When I get to the kitchen, my mother and Jason are sitting down at the kitchen table, eating spaghetti.
I get excited, and start jumping.
"Ooh, spaghetti? I love spaghetti! Can I have extra meatballs-"
I get cut off by my mother, who looks a little annoyed.
"Oh sorry sweetie, Jason's eating the last plate." My mother gestures to the third plate of spaghetti on the counter.
"Just get fast food or something."
My mom slaps down a few coins in my hand.
As I walk down the sidewalk, I count the money.
25, 40, 65...70?!
Seventy cents to buy dinner. Great.
*                                 *                                *
A muffin isn't that bad, I think as I walk home.
But I'm still hungry.
I walk back into my house.
"Mom?" I call out.
I peek into the kitchen, where mom and Jason are still there.
"Hon, I can't eat anymore." Jason says.
"Oh Jason, you haven't even finished your first plate yet." My mother throws out the plate Jason was eating, and one full plate of spaghetti.
"Wait!" I yell, hoping to stop my mother from throwing out that plate, but it was too late.
"I could've eaten that!" I shout out of anger.
My mother raises an eyebrow.
"Well, how was I supposed to know you were hungry? I'm not a mind reader, y'know." She says.
My mother was starting to get on my nerves. I raised my voice.
"Well, I expect you to have half a brain! You should know that seventy cents is not enough for a dinner!"
I turn around and catch Jason snickering.
"And you, Jason! You're enjoying this, aren't you?!" The smirk immediately gets wiped off of his face.
"You act so innocent, don't you?!"
I turn back around to my mother.
"I will call child services!"
At first I don't see it coming. My mother, lunging towards me, grabbing me by my ponytail and tugging it so I'm close to her face.
"Do you really think a filthy home full of abused children will treat you any better? You should be grateful! I gave you a home, a bed, education and food! Go up to your room!"
I stomp away up the stairs.
The truth is, I know nothing about child services. All I know is that they take abused children away. And, the truth is, I should be grateful. Other children are in much worse conditions than me.
Was it even abuse?
I miss my father.
-End of flashback-