when you swim in the ocean
and wave
takes you under my
there is a panic
a loss of breath
a struggle
trying to fight
a force to strong
and when you come up
that first breath
feels like it took a lifetime
to take
that first breath
feels like heaven
feels like being saved
feels like freedom
and kissing him?
he's my first breath
he's my savior from the waves
he's my freedom
i could swim above the wave myself
i am enough in me
to be my own
savior
but when he jumped into the waves
just to stretch out a hand
and say
"i've got you"
i allowed him
to help me
decided that
it did not wake me weak
he is my first breath
he is my missing puzzle piece
he is my saturday night
and my sunday morning
he makes me feel safe
in a world
as cold and hateful
as this
he has shown me
that even i
even someone like me
can be loved
his hands
send electric signals down my spine
telling my entire body
"he's here"
but mostly
he loves me
when no one else can
he does
so when the world
drags me under
and is too much
to fight
i know he is there
and he will show me
how to breathe
again
he showed me
that i can love myself
that it is all up to me
that i can be okay
- and i don't think i'm drowning anymore.
j.s.
