New School, New Me

Chapter 4

 I heard a faint beeping noise in the background and heard someone talking.  I can't make out who it is though.  His voice is deep and serious sounding; not my dad's voice for sure.  

"Philip?  Can you hear me?"  His voice sounds faded, like i'm in a cave and he's on the other side.  My eyes must be closed.  I will my eyes to open but close them immediately once i am blinded by a bright white light.  

Am I dead?

I heard a cry that sounded like my mum.  Mum?  She's here?  I try to open my eyes again and this time i keep them open.  I am in a hospital room with my mum and dad.  They all must have let out a gasp of relief knowing that I was okay.  

"I'm not dead?"  The doctor smiled a warm smile and shook his head.  "No, you're not dead.  You do have a minor concussion and some serious cuts and bruises that we've done our best to fix.  You need to stay off of your feet for the rest of today, but you should be able to go back to school tomorrow.  Your friend might have to wait a day or two though."

Friend? Dan.  Dan! 

"Where is he?" I start throwing the blankets off of me and stand up.  "Mum where is Dan? I have to see him."  My head is spinning, but I walk out of the door anyways.  

"Dan!"  I look all around me hoping to see him, but he is nowhere in sight.  My dad's hand suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me towards him.  "Phil calm down."

"I- is he dead? Is he dead Dad? IS DAN DEAD?"  I feel tears burning in the corners of my eyes and my stomach tightens into a painful knot.  My breath gets caught in my throat and before I know it i'm crying.  He can't be dead.  Dan can't be dead.  He's the only one who has been there for me when I need it. 

"Phil.  Phil listen to me now.  Dan is NOT dead okay?  He's in the room right over there."  He points to a room two doors down and I immediately run into the room.  Then I saw him, and it felt like the worlds tightest belt had been released from me.  I run up to his bed.  "Dan.."  

I ask for a few minutes alone and shut the door once the doctor tells me I can have a few minutes.  Slowly I walk toward Dan's bed where he is sleeping.  It looks like he's got a broken arm and has some cuts like me.  I was then suddenly and cruelly aware of how much pain i was actually in; I remember how its my fault that Dan and I are in this situation.  If Dan would have died then it would have been my fault.

Tears start falling from my eyes as I lay my head on Dan's bed.  It feels like my stomach has an endless pit in it that will never be filled; like I have an elephant on my chest and weights on my shoulders.  I know he isn't dead, but even the thought that he could have died just made me want to break down and cry, which is exactly what i'm doing now.

I continue feeling horrible and depressed while allowing the warm salty wetness coming out of my eyes to slide down my cheeks and onto Dan's bed.  Suddenly I feel a hand on my head.  "Don't cry, Phil.  Please."  Dan's voice sounded tired and raspy.  It was horrible.

"I-i don't understand.  The car smashed into my side, not yours, so why did you get injured the most?"  Dan looked down and frowned.  "I wasn't wearing my seat belt."  I let out a deep breath and run an hand through my hair.  "Dan I am so sorry.  I am so fucking sorry."  He puts a hand on the side of my face and gives a weak smile.  "Phil nothing major happened.  Just a fracture in my left right arm and some cuts and bruises like yours."  He traces his finger across my face for a minute or two before speaking.  "The only difference is that they suit you a lot better than me."  I do a small laugh and look at his scratches on his arms and one small one across his cheek.

 "I think you could say you got into a hell of a fight with some gang members.  I'd buy it."  Dan laughed then winced in pain.  I placed a hand on his shoulder and lightly pushed him back so he wasn't sitting up anymore.  He stays where he is with his eyes closed tightly for a few minutes before speaking.  "The doctor told me I need to rest."

"i'll leave you to do that then."  I go to walk away, but Dan grabs my hand and pulls me back.  

"Please stay."  His eyes are wide and pleading and all I can do is nod.  He scoots over towards the edge of the bed to make room for me.

I climb into the bed and wrap my arms around Dan waiting for him to fall asleep.  Only five minutes later he had fallen asleep,  and so I went to sleep as well with my arms tight around him.