New School, New Me

Chapter 8

I woke up with Dan's arms wrapped snugly around my waist and smiled at how good it made me feel. Feeling his warm breath on my neck and just his presence in general made my whole mood light up.

Moving seems like a horrible crime to me right now.  All I want to do is just stay like this all day, but we had school.  And today was the day we were coming out.

The happy thoughts were then immediately pushed away as my stomach tightened up and I felt i was going to be sick. I remember how the kids at my other school treated me as soon as they found out.  What if that happened here too?  What if Dan got sick of me and left me to deal with them on my own?  I don't want to be alone again.  Oh, God.  Oh, God please don't let me be alone again.  I don't think I can handle it.  

My breath picks up and I can tell I was shaking, but I can't help it.  I think i'm having an anxiety attack.  I hadn't had one of these in so long.  Dammit, I was doing good.

Suddenly I felt a soft kiss on my cheek and Dan's arms tightened around me.  "Its going to be okay, Phil."

I calmed down a little but my breathing was still jagged, so Dan laid his head against mine and planted a kiss on my lips. He's so good at making me feel better.

I lay my head on his chest and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down, and after a few minutes it starts working.

"I'm ready."  My voice still sounded shaky and tired which was horribly embarrassing, but Dan just did a smile.

"Your morning voice is so adorable."  He kisses my cheek and I can feel my cheeks flush.

"Yours is too."  I do an awkward smile and throw the covers off of Dan and I making him curl into a ball and whimper.

"Philly its cold."  He stuck his bottom lip out and looked up at me with big eyes.

"Philly?"  I do a small smile at the adorable nickname he gave me.

"Yes, Philly,"  He gets up and goes through my drawers looking for another pair of my black jeans, smiling in triumph as he pulls a pair out.

"You should try the red pants today."  I go over to the closet looking for the shirt I always wore with them.

"I hope you like Muse.  I always wear this shirt with those pants, and I think it'll really suit you."  I pull out a white shirt with 'Muse'  written in big red letters and 'The Resistance' more towards the bottom.

Dan's face lights up and he smiles a huge smile making his dimples stand out.

"I didn't know you liked Muse, Phil?"  He takes the shirt from my hands and slips it over his bare chest.

"I love Muse.  Who doesn't?"  I do a simper smile as he pulls on the red skinny jeans.  He looks in the mirror with a pleased face before looking back at me with questioning eyes.

"It looks great, Dan." I give him a reassuring smile that makes him look down and bite his lip.

He's quiet but only for a minute.  "I get to pick out your outfit now!"  Giggling like a twelve year old, he walks to my closet and starts rummaging through it.

Finally he brings out my black shirt with a light blue nebula thing on it and pulls out some black skinny jeans.  

"Here, Philly."  He does a sheepish smile and holds out the outfit for me to take.

"You should pick out my clothes more often, Dan."  I pull the shirt on along with my black jeans and look in the mirror with a satisfactory smile.

"I will pick out outfits.  My outfits.  You have to be super duper special for me to pick out your clothes."  He holds his chin up high with a smug look on his face that disappears as soon as he sees the pouting face I put on.

"So I'm not special?"  I look down and stick out my bottom lip even more.

"NOO! No you're special."  He goes to hug me but I turn away and cross my arms.

"Oh nah.  You don't get a hug.  I'm not special enough.to get a hug apparently."  I go to walk away, but Dan grabs my arm and throws me onto the bed and straddles me.

"Dan!"  I look away from his face that is now only inches away from mine, but he grabs me gently by the chin and makes me look at him.

"You're extremely special, okay?"  Leaning down slowly, he places a kiss on my lips and I very happily kiss him back.  Ugh, I love when he kisses me.  

I put my hand on the back of his head and let my hands explore his hair while I lick the bottom of his lip asking for entrance.  He opens his mouth up and we explore each others mouths with our tongues until Dan pulls away.  "We're going to be late to school."

Letting out a defeated noise, I wait for him to climb off of me before getting up and gathering my things for school.

"How're we going to do it, Dan?  You know, come out or whatever..."  I bite my lip at the thought of doing it.

"I'm going to hold your hand when we walk in and then I shall kiss you on the cheek before we walk into class."  Satisfaction and excitement spread across his face wile mind probably just looks full of fear and anxiety.  

"Phil, its going to be okay.  I promise."  He gives me a quick hug before heading out the door with me following.

The ride to school mainly just consisted of me being scared as hell and Dan trying to cheer me up.  Once we get out of the car I can barely feel my legs.  I know we have to do it, but it worked out so bad last time.  

"I can't do this."

I go to get back into the car, but I feel Dan intertwine my fingers and look at me with pleading eyes while I do the same.

"You can do this, Phil.  You're not alone this time okay?  I'm here.  I always be here."  He brushes a piece of my fringe out of my eyes giving me an encouraging smile.

I nod slowly and grab his hand tighter as we start walking into the school.

Please let this work out better than last time.