summer with my priest

tommy's a little asshole

Dad took me to choir practice again. It gets boring after a while. I get along with some kids but most of them liked Tommy so I somewhat hate them too.

During lunch, Tommy sat next to me and asked if I wanted to exchange lunches. His precense makes me feel annoyed. I wanted him to leave me alone.

He inches uncomfortably closer to me and pulls something out of his glow in the dark spiderman lunch box. "Do you want my sammich?"

"s-sammich?" I choked. Who the fuck says sandwich like that.

"Yeah. It's cheese and turkey. Want it?" he holds his wrapped sandwich in front of me.

I inch away from him. Too close. I feel his breathing on me and I hate it. "Yeah okay fine" I frowned. I snatched his sandwich and tossed him a red apple from my plain paper bag where I put my lunch in.

He smiles and thanks me... and just leaves. I sigh in relief and stare down at my lunch. He's nice I guess. Maybe i'm the one being a jealous jerk.

I look around me. I'm sitting alone. Every other choir boy is sitting with Tommy, complimenting him and laughing with him. I groan and unwrap the sandwich in my hands, taking a little bite from it. I'd be lying if I said it was gross.

I spot Father Benjamin walking in from the main door with my dad. I can't hear what they're saying but knowing they are adults and shit, probably talking about bills, jobs, insurance, or even sex.

After five minutes of talking, they shake hands and my dad walks to the car. Father benjamin walks in and the choir boys say hi. None of those boys are cuter than me. I'm the most cutest one, I think! Benjamin wouldn't go for either of them. At least that's what i'm hoping for.

His eyes travel to mine and I look away quickly. He walks over to me and take a seat right besides me on the bench.

"Why are you sitting by yourself, Gav'?"

"Wha-huh?"

"Gavin..."

I cross my arms and leave my lunch on the other side of me. Why is he here... knowing someone as hot as him, he wouldn't talk to any kid like me.

Okay, i'm sitting by myself. But that doesn't mean that I don't like it. It's nice of him for caring about me but I have to remember: i'm not special. He cares about all the choir boys as if all thirty of us were his birth sons. I sometimes wonder how he does it. If Father Benjamin wasn't a catholic priest at our neighbourhood church, he'd be excellent as a day care babysitter.

I never know what to say sometimes so I just shrugged off his question. But he doesn't let it slide that easily.

"Gavin, you should try to get along with the other boys. You'd be happy. Being by yourself isn't so fun, is it?"

"Father Benjamin, i'm perfectly fine" I say, surprised that I actually spoke instead of shrugging and nodding at him. "It's just that- ugh! Tommy! He is so annoying."

"You'll meet a lot of annoying people in your life, Gavin. Doesn't mean you have to separate yourself from them" He said. He puts his hand on my shoulder and I gulp. "What did Tommy do to you to make you dislike him so much? Everyone else seems to enjoy being his friend."

"I don't know" I simply spoke.

Daddy Ben didn't say anything else about Tommy and the other boys. Instead, he changed the subject. He must have sensed that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. Thats another thing I like about him: his senses.

My priest points to my lunch bag. "What do you have  in there?"

"Well, Tommy stole my apple so I have just a half eaten sandwich and apple juice" I say, looking into my bag.

"I saw you trade with him."

I look away and blush in embarrassment. Fuck... I shouldn't have lied to him. He probably thinks i'm a bad kid now.

"Sorry, Father Benjamin..."

"It's alright" he smiled. I smile back. It's the longest we've ever bonded with one another. I hate the other boys because they always took Daddy Ben away from me. They don't like him the way I do, but they always want his attention. Daddy Ben has thirty other boys to look after, including his daughter the same age as me, who stays home with her grandma. It's not like i'm his favorite.

My priest and I spent lunch hour together. We talk about things that are comfortable for the both of us. I'm not that afraid to talk to him anymore seeing that he always forgave me when I did or said something misleading or wrong.

The other boys became a blur to me at that moment. I soon kind if forgot they were in the same room as us. It's as if the world was just him and me.

I love the way he laughs. It's unique. I laugh like a fucking idiot.

At some point in our lunch time, I begin to feel abnormal. I don't know why I have feelings for him at all. There is something wrong with me but I can't help myself. I don't even bother to get help because then it'd be like throwing Daddy Ben away and I don't want to let him go.

When lunch time ended, Daddy Ben stood up and I followed him to the trash where we threw away our lunches. He and the rest of the boys began setting up for choir practice again. I was last.

As he walked, it seems like Father Benjamin dropped something on the floor from his back pocket. I pick it up and watch him walk away in front of me. Was I gonna return it? I'd be a good boy if I did buuuttt... i'm a bad boy so I won't.

I turn around, away from Benjamin's view and open the piece of paper. It's a calander where he keeps his meetings marked on specific dates.

I sigh in relief when I see that he has no private meetings with any choir boys. But at the same time, I feel somewhat upset because he's most likely not interested in younger guys. Instead, he has meetings with parents.

I feel anger rise up but I try my best to keep myself in control. He better not be doing it with any adults. Only me. I'll do my best to win his heart.

Before I had the chance to crumpled the paper and toss it in the garbage, I spot my parent's name on a friday meeting, three days from now. I read it, written in thin red pen.

Meeting 2:00 pm-2:15 pm
Mr. Wilkins + Mrs. Wilkins
(private)