𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐝 》 𝐛𝐛𝐡 ✓

1. Goodbye

y/n pov

2002

The rain tumbled from the sky hitting the floor as did the tears escaping my sore eyes.

When you approach death or mourn over it, you tend to have moments of reflecting on your life with your loved ones. Special moments you shared with them, and you try to go over your entire history with them but then you always reach that point at the end of the timeline where you realize that is the end.

I dropped onto Daddy's grave and sobbed my pain away that day. It was very dramatic, you know thinking  back on it.

The funeral was beautiful. Despite the place being full of unfamiliar people I didn't now apart from Mum, Kai, Uncle, Aunt and Chanyeol. I was only 6 so I didn't suspect anything at that point. My main focus was on my great loss and the fact Dad wasn't coming home. I can confirm, that day was the worst of my life yet little did i know it awoken chaos in the worse way possible. Things most definitely took a turn in the city.

Mum held me and Kai tight in her arms and eventually as the moon drew the sun back, Mum had to fully drag us from Daddy's muddy grave. Just imagine being at your husband's funeral and having to drag your screaming kids away from their father in the night. It was scarring, and i'll always remember it.

"Goodbye Daddy. Be safe in heaven. I love you- Daddy" i whispered before being taken away. I sunk into tears screaming.

- - -

16 years later

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you- happy birthday dear Y/n, happy birthday to you." Mum and Kai sang in unison trying to play off an excited reaction to the cake that laid on dinning table.

I blew out my candles and my Mum put a lot of effort into flashing a smile at me. You could tell. Kai brought in front of him a wrapped box he had behind his back and gave it to me from across the table.

"Thank you mum and Kai for the cake and gift. Also for putting your all into raising and loving me."

I avoided it at first but it only felt right. I hesitantly looked to the ceiling as i left tears prickling the corners of my eyes.

"Another year of my life Dad, i hope i have done you proud, i love you." i whimpered, fighting back the tears. Kai looked down at his feet looking upset and Mum in no time jumped from her seat and fled into the living room. I could hear her distant cries.

I dropped my throbbing head into my hands as i grew even more upset from everything falling apart as per usual. Seconds after I also went from my seat and stormed up to my room. Kai had a guilty expression and sighed. "Y/N wait-" he beckoned, arising from his seat, probably to follow me.

In the icey and dismaying atmosphere of my room i took time to think which is my typical way of finding comfort with myself.

Why is everything so miserable. no one can even make an effort to stay positive and its only once a year.

All respect for Mum and what she has to cope with but she easily forgets we are all coping too. And it seems these days im the only one accepting and trying to move on and grow in life. We are supposed to do that as a family!

"My life is so shit! " i screeched. This is all so unfair. Nothing will ever be resolved will it?

Rage is all i'm feeling. I wanna blame everything on Mum but i can't since i don't the full story of how things went down the night of the robbery. Because no one will damn tell me. The secrets, lies and fake happiness. I'm so done!

I flopped face down on my bed grabbing the bed sheets and tugging at them to release some tension, but all i released was waves of tears and cries.

"Dad come back! Why did you have to leave us like this?!" I wailed in defeat.

The door creaks open and someone is at the door just observing your poor state. I lift my head to see what they wanted. But they just sat on the corner of my bed and rubbed my back. I knew it was Kai. Mum barely comes to comfort me because she dwells so much on her sadness she never thinks of me and Kai anymore.

"Y/N...i don't know what to say anymore. I-I know how you feel. I may not show it as often but i have my moments." he mumbled considerately. "No, it was every year then every month and now everyday Mum does this. The house is just haunting. The mood of this house is so miserable. I-just dont wanna be lik- " i totally broke down.

"shh calm down. I'm here even if Mum mentally isn't. But you have to do me a favour." he uttered. I turned to him, nodded my head wiping my tears, listening to what he wants.

"Do anything you must to look after Mum. You don't have to sympathize with her or have deep conversations with her but just care for her and keep her safe and healthy. Check up at the doctors once in a while. Okay?" It was fair and pretty straight forward and there was no reason to disapprove.I understood and knew it was for the best. We couldn't afford another parent dying and i guess before Mum fell in depression she did love us and care for us so it's only good of a daughter to return the favour.

I sat up and looked Kai dead in the eyes." i can do that." i replied. "Cool. Don't worry sis i got you." he said patting my head. " I know you do and I'll always love you for that.." i assured him. He held me deep in his embrace, for a few minutes..." Y/N i think it's time." he murmured.

I knew what that meant. I was ready. I was meant to do it 4 years ago but i resisted but i have to do it now. It is time, Dad would have wanted this.

//For the new readers, Hey! So it's been close to a year since i published this book and i'm fixing a few things and misconceptions i made as a noob writer. Because of this new readers will obvious see updated versions but my older readers or ones that have read the chapters i'll be updating will have different ideas and hopefully i'll be able to clear those up later. Anyway i hope this was enough to interest you, it gets better i promise. :)) vote and comment please x//

-BYUN BEBZ