Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Twenty-Six.

Lily's POV-

I was pressed between him and the wall, my hands twisted into his curls and his hands twisted into my skirt. The familiar taste of mint was making my mouth water and I wanted him, needed him, more than anything.

"Harry," I moaned. His name came out breathless and the knowing smirk on his face showed that he loved that he could do this to me.

"Lillian," he said, snaking his arms behind my thighs. Suddenly, I was lifted off the ground. I could feel his muscles as he stumbled backwards on to the bed. I landed on top this time, straddling him and having the upper hand.

It was my turn to smirk at him. I bent down and placed tiny kisses on to his jaw and worked my way down, paying special attention to the spots that made him moan.

"Lily," he said. Except it wasn't his voice, it was someone else's. A girls voice?

"Lily!" They called again and I could see clearly now. I wasn't on a bed with Harry, I was staring at a chalkboard in my last period history class.

I rolled my eyes at the brunette that stood in front of me. "What?" I asked. My Harry fantasies were starting to get out of hand.

"It's time to go. You know, like, go home?" Amelia responded. She had her hand on her hip and an annoyed look in her eyes. How long had I been daydreaming?

I nodded sheepishly, sliding out of my desk and following her out of the classroom. Amelia went straight to her car as I stood there, attempting to find my boyfriend in the sea of teenagers.

He was leaning against his Mercedes, wearing a blue beanie and a pair of dark sunglasses. He kissed my forehead before opening my door for me.

"How was your day, babe?" I asked him as our fingers interlocked over the middle counsel. I didn't feel any sort of electricity or spark as he held my hand, which was odd because I usually felt the slightest butterflies whenever he did this.

"It was alright," he said boringly, the same answer he always gave when I asked him. It was the first thing I asked when he picked me up from school everyday. He never returned the question.

He pulled up to the station and I climbed out. He called out a quick 'bye' and sped off. No kiss. No 'I love you'. Just the sound of tires speeding off in the distance. I should be used to this by now.

My book bag suddenly seemed heavy on my back when I walked into the station and saw the all too familiar curls at his desk. Hear crept up my neck and onto my cheeks as I remembered how easily he was able to throw me around in my fantasies.

I had been dreading the conversation we were sure to have all weekend. Now there was no avoiding it. I couldn't control my heart rate as I slowly walked to my desk.

I tried to ignore the way his head snapped up as soon as he heard my footsteps. I tried even harder to ignore the way his eyes followed me.

"Lillian," he greeted me. Normal Harry greeting. If it was so normal, then why did my heart nearly beat out of my chest at his words? Why did the butterflies come out of hiding in my stomach?

"Harry," I squeaked. I nearly dropped my bag on the ground. I was shaking so bad.

"I guess we have a lot to talk about," he laughed. It amused me that he could laugh when I felt like I was going to burst. He got up from his deck and motioned for me to follow him.

He led me to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The station was particularly empty today, so we could have this discussion without any interruptions. Great.

"Look Harry-"

"Lillian I-"

I giggled, relaxing my shoulders as I did so.

"You first," I told him.

He took a deep breath, leaning against the back of the door. "Look, about what happened-"

"It's totally cool," I cut him off. From the way he started his sentence I knew that he just wanted to put all this behind him. That would be the easiest. I could hopefully get Harry out of my head now. "And i think you're right. We should just forget about it."

He looked at me confused. "No, Lily. I don't want to forget it." I could hear my heart beat in my ears.

"What?"

"I don't want to forget it," he said again. "I've kept it all in for so long and I'm just really glad-"

"How long?" I asked, my legs wobbling.

He didn't answer.

"How long?" I asked again, this time with aggression.

He sighed. "Since the party we almost got busted at."

Unbelievable.

"Look, I remembered everything from that night and I panicked when you confronted me about it. I've never loved anyone like this before and it just genuinely scares-"

"You can't just say that," I told him, closing my eyes right because I felt like I might cry again. "You can't tell me you don't remember and then finally decide that you love me just because I have a boyfriend now."

"I didn't decide to tell you because I was jealous, LillIan. I want you to be happy, and picking you up the other night- you obviously weren't happy."

"Harry, I am happy," the words sounded like such a lie as I said them. It was a slap in the face.

"Does he take care of you, Lily?" Harry wondered, staring at me so intensely that I felt like the whole room was caving in on us.

"What?" I asked him, shaking my head to make sure I heard him correctly.

He shrugged. "Does he take care of you? Or could I easily fill his shoes?"

I couldn't answer his questions because Louis didn't take care of me. He spent more time playing soccer or drumming to even pay attention to me anymore. There was one good day and six bad days. I didn't even love him. I loved the idea of him.

"Thought so," he said with an eye roll. "Lily I could treat you how you deserve to be treated.

He was getting closer. I closed my eyes as his hands cupped my cheek.

As his lips pressed against mine, i realized after all this time I still had feelings for Harry. I had a decision to make, and I knew that no matter who I chose, this wouldn't end very well.