Childhood Sweethearts

Ethan's POV

  Trigger warning

Early in the morning my alarm went off and I got ready for school and Noah also got ready for school. A Tuesday morning breakfast and Noah loved what I always made for him. Me and Noah walked down stairs as I held his hand. I made a small burrito for him and I then we left. He smiled and I said to him,"I'll see you after school,okay?". He nodded and kissed me as we both walked out of the house as I locked the door. Noah was already heading to his school as I walked to my school.

[8 hours go by ]

While walking home,I was walking through the park and for some reason I see Noah and Aiden. I could see them talking and It wasn't a problem for me at all,until I see Noah kiss Aiden. I stood there as I watched with tears in my eyes. I can see Noah enjoying himself as he kissed him. I didn't know what to do. I was shaking for some reason...and I felt the pain in my chest...ah..love is a bitch. I yelled in pain as more tears streamed down my cheeks. I walked off, all I wanted was love.
"Why can't I have it!!!",I yelled as I began to run to my house. In front of me was Luke walking home. I got so angry and I just suddenly tackled Luke to the ground. I rolled him over and I punched him over and over. Luke yelled,"What the hell is your problem!!",as he was defending himself. I stopped punching him as I started to cry,he looked at me and said "What happened?!?,what's wrong?!?!". He suddenly sat up and hugged me tightly. I let him hug me as I said,"why does love hurt..". I stood up and just walked back to my house and unlocked the door. I went back inside and locked the door,I slowly slide down against the door. I sat there thinking it's time...

I said to myself,"no one wouldn't care either way...",I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen as I wrote out.

I slowly get up and I drop the note to the floor as I slowly walked taword the stairs. While walking up stairs I deleted everything off my phone and I dropped it while heading into the bathroom I only use. I dug around and I found my razor blade I use to use. I said to myself,"long time no see..",I  crawled into the tub and i sat down. I sit there and roll down my sleeves and I see past cuts I've done.

I closed my eyes and the blade touches my wrist. I squint in pain as the blade goes across my wrist and cutting my veins. I was already breathing hard but I switch to the other side,I was shaking as I tried to calm down. I cut deeply into my other wrist and dropped the razor blade in the rub as my blood was flowing out quickly. My vision already began to go blurry. My heart was pounding like crazy as I hear my phone buzzing. I couldn't move my arms and my hearing was getting worse.
I closed my eyes and heard thuds coming upstairs,I could hardly hear my parents. My parents saw me in the tub and yelled my name as my father pulled me out. My mother was crying and I heard her calling the ambulance. My dad was crying as well and I couldn't hear anything anymore. I saw my little sister screaming. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore,I finally went unconscious. All I could see was darkness,nothing was waiting for me. I could hear the medics trying to save my life. I didn't understand why they wanted to save my life.
   Suddenly I could hear Noah yelling my name. I couldn't move at all,the medics took me downstairs with a stretcher. When they carried me outside I heard Luke yelling my name as well. They finally put me in the ambulance vehicle. The medics said,

"The bleeding won't stop he cut his veins to deep!"

I could tell they were doing there best to save me,my while body became numb. I wanted to tell them just to stop,I didn't want them to waste there time on me. I couldn't remember a thing that happened that evening. The last thing I remembered was me talking about them wasting there time on me. I went unconscious for so long I finally woke up but I was in the hospital. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the ceiling of somewhere else. I thought to myself,"this isn't my room..where am I..".

I said to myself,"So much for nothing".

I lied there as I felt the pain coming from my arms. I have forgotten that I slit my wrist. I looked to my left and saw Emily sleeping in the chair next to me. I said quietly,"I must've made you cry so much,your eyes are puffy".
     My throat was parched and I was still so exhausted. I tried moving my fingers but I couldn't,I heard someone open the door and I just closed my eyes. It was my parents,I think they were going to take Emily home. I laid there with my eyes closed. My mother kissed my forehead and my father had Emily in his arms. The three left and I heard the door close. When i heard the door close I just opened my eyes slowly and I tried sitting up but my wrist started to bleed from putting pressure on it. I slowly move my arm toward the entrance and I see Shane walking in.
      He walked toward me and saw my wrist bandaged,he yelled at me," Why would you do this?!?",he cried and I looked at him. He said crying,"please...dont ever di this again,I'm begging you..". I said to him,"Why do you care about me?",he yelled at me again,"because you mean alot to me!,I've known you ever since we were kids..". I slightly smiled and said,"I'm sorry for making you cry and worry about me". I reached to his cheek and wiped his tears. He slightly smiled and my eyes began to go blurry. I could see him looking at me and he said,"Ethan..Ethan!!". He got up and pushed the button for emergency. I could hear the nurses and doctors surround me and saying,"He going into shock!". Then again I can't remember anything, I dont know how long I was resting again.
   I dont know what happening but I'm becoming scared again. Usually I'm not but I dont know how I went into shock. I woke up with many needles in my arms. I couldn't feel my arms at all. It was already 10:34pm. I laid there and slowly closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry for doing this"