0 1 | E I G H T L E T T E R S
"yo, victoria! look here," i roll my eyes when i hear him call me by my second name. i turn around and see him holding a film camera. i put my hands on my waist, "gosh, benjamin, stop taking pictures of me! we're gonna lose films agad, eh."
"i don't care. you look very beautiful today kasi," he says, walking closer to me. i can't help my kilig, so i smiled. he laughs, "hay nako, you're kinikilig nanaman." he playfully sighed and i hit his arm, laughing.
"you've never said it before kasi." i tell him and he just shrugged, "well, you're beautiful every single day naman but today is.. different." he paused for a few seconds at the end of his statement.
i raise my brow, "what? because we're in Paris and to show them we're on a date here?"
he stayed silent and i sigh, putting my hands inside my vintage dress' pocket. i can't believe we are fake-dating for exactly six months now. we're on a summer break that's why he took me to here because he said "i really am good at pretending to be his girlfriend" then he treated me a vacation here in France.
actually, we both know we like each other. but neither one of us asked if we want to call our relationship official. i wanted, though.
we stop infront at the end of the hotel, where the Eiffel Tower is near and seen. "i like the hotel you picked, benjamin." i tell him as i look at the view. it's sunset already, what a long day.
he hangs his arm around my shoulders, squeezing me closer to me. "you deserve the best, though."
and again, he made me smile; for real now. i am somewhat thankful i met this guy: he helped me get over my ex-boyfriend, he's always got my back whenever i need someone beside my brothers, and he really treats me like his real girlfriend.
i wish i was, though.
we were just staring at the sunset the whole time, a comfortable silence between the two of us. until i broke the ice, and ask him, "what do you think are we doing right now if we didn't do this whole 'fake-dating' thing?"
he thinks for a second, then replies a, "i don't know. i can't imagine myself without you, i think." he shrugged after and i let out a sigh. "you're so cheesy, benjamin ryan."
"why thank you, eva victoria." he grins then rest his head on top of mine and stayed silent, just looking at the Eiffel Tower. i wish we're just always like this; true to each other. sometimes, whenever i am alone, i think about him. but just a quarter of a second.
i let out a deep breath, "thank you, benjamin." i say with pure gratitude. he looked at me with a bit surprised expression, "you've never said 'thank you'. i've never heard you say 'thank you', i feel so honoured." i chuckle, "you better."
i felt his lips on my forehead, he just kissed me. "i love you, victoria." he says with sincerity. i'm still looking at the wide view infront of us; i can't look at him. i can't. because if i did, i'm just gonna cry.
how can he manage to do all of this without getting attached to the other person? how can he pretend that he's badly inlove with me for such a long period of time? how can he say those eight letters like it's just a 'hi/hello'?
i let out a bitter smile, "do you still, benjamin?" i face him this time. he looks down on me, tilting his head like he's confused. i let out a chuckle, "come on, we know it's just a lie."
"no it's not, victoria."
"it is, benjamin." i pointed out and he shut his mouth. he knows i'm right; he doesn't love me. he will never love me, because all this time, he still loves his past girlfriend and not me. he always does.
a tear fell from my eye, "i'm so sick of this shit." i mutter before walking away from him.
i can't stay any longer in this fake relationship. i can't just stand here and pretend i don't get hurt whenever i remember the fact this is all just a show. i'm so sick of being fake best.
— ☁️ —
oof was it a lengthy chap?
the next one is a lighter chap. i'm gonna try, hahahaha.
i put "Ghost of You" by 5SOS on repeat while writing this so that's
why this is a bit heavy chapter. and OH i've watched a video on twitter
it's a clip from the movie "Up" but the music was Ghost of You and it fucking made me cry that is iLLEGAL I CRIED SO HARD DAMN IT !
i'm so talkative ok just vote and comment you feedback abt this one :)
i love you guys xx
