It Was One Time! Pt. 1

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DISCLAIMER: Do NOT jump to conclusions!

Once the family had come home and gotten a few days of rest from their long vacation, it was time to have the funeral. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Robin and Roland were soon noticed by everyone and sent back to the Enchanted Forest. I know, I know but Regina promised to come back and get them next week, there was too much going on this week. Anyway, everyone was standing around the tombstone, most of them were crying except for Regina and Cora, who were trying their best not to laugh. Charming and Snow were wrapped in each other's embrace. Rumple was too distraught to even make it to the funeral, he and Belle decided to spend some time at the library instead. Hook hung his head as Emma wrapped her arm around Henry, "I'm sorry kid. I know you didn't get to really know him but I know you loved him." Henry fought back the tears, "Yeah...." He just looked down, the sight of his family upset only made it worse for him. "I'll miss you, mate." Hook quietly said before taking a swig of Rum and beginning to walk away. Cora followed, "Wait up pirate! I want some of that rum!" Regina shook her head and walked toward Henry, who was still in Emma's arm. "Are you two okay?" Emma glanced at her and nodded with a soft smile, "Yeah, thanks." Snow led Charming to the car, both trying not to cry. Henry flung his arms around Regina, "I don't want to lose you guys! Promise you'll never leave me!" Regina gasped and looked at Emma who just shrugged with an equally surprised expression on her face. Regina wrapped Henry in her embrace, "Son, look at me." She tilted his tear-soaked face up so that their eyes met. "We will never leave you, we'll always be with you. Always." She gave him an assuring smile and that was all the confirmation he needed. "I love you guys." He replied and they all smiled. "We love you too, kid. More than anything." They all proceeded to the car and drove home. When they got inside, Henry ran upstairs to change clothes and the adults were gathered in the kitchen. "The house feels so empty without him here..." Emma mentioned as she fixed coffee for everyone. Cora and Hook were drinking rum, starting to become tipsy, "Eh, it'll be a lot quieter." Cora said as she took another swig. Regina grabbed herself a glass of wine, "You're starting off early today, aren't you mother?" Cora stood up from her chair and almost fell backwards, causing Hook to snort and he covered his mouth to hide his laughter. Cora wobbled over to Regina, "Let me tell you something Miss Sassy Ass. I do what I want, when I want. Know why? Because I gave birth to you. I PUSHED YOU OUT OF ME!" In that moment Regina's face completely fell and Hook fell on the floor laughing. Emma almost dropped her cup of coffee, "KILL THE VISION GOD!" She shouted as she ran to the sink and threw water in her face. Hook was still laughing, "There's nothing up there but cobwebs mate!!" Snow and Charming stared at each other in horror while Regina simply closed her eyes. "I DID NOT ASK YOU TO PAINT ME A GODDAMN PICTURE MOTHER!" Cora shrugged, "Eh. Just making sure you get it through your thick skull." Before anyone could say anything else, there was a loud thump upstairs and everyone looked up. "The hell was that?!" Charming asked, standing up and heading toward the stairs.

"I don't know but Henry's up there!" Regina exclaimed as she sat her glass down and ran upstairs with everyone in tow. The sound was coming from Neal's room. "Henry...?" Snow called out and Henry walked up behind all of them. "Yeah?" He answered and everyone screamed. "DON'T DO THAT! You'll give me a heart attack!" Cora said as she held her hand over her heart. "Wait. If you're here then who's in there making noise?" Emma turned back toward Neal's room and slowly opened the door and as soon as she did, she fainted. When Regina caught sight of what Emma saw, she quickly grabbed Henry and took him downstairs. Cora and Hook just laughed while Snow dragged them back downstairs. Charming picked up Emma and followed Snow. Neal was completely embarrassed and he escorted his friend out of the house. "I am so sorry guys..." He said as he turned to the family. Emma was on the couch and she finally woke up, "YOU COULD'VE WARNED US! We thought you were out of town!" Hook walked over and patted Neal on the back, "Didn't know you had it in you mate. She's quite the looker too." Neal smirked, "Thanks. She has a twin sister if you're interested." Hook raised an eyebrow, "Double date? I'm in." Emma cleared her throat, "I'm still here!!" Hook was staring off into space, deep in thought, "Yeah yeah, Swan. Hey Neal, you think she'll like it if I wear a suit?" Neal shook his head, "Nah man, she LOVES pirates." Emma folded her arms, "Well in that case I can't wait to meet the beautiful lass." Neal laughed, "I'll set it up for tomorrow night then." He turned to Charming, "Hey, how was Speedy's funeral? Sorry I missed it, I didn't expect to come back so early." Charming gave a slight nod, "It was okay. He'll be missed dearly." Cora held up a glass of vodka, "Three cheers for Neal getting his groove back!" Regina and Henry walked inside from the backyard, "Oh gosh, you're still drinking..." She said as she saw her mother with the glass in her hand. "Oh gosh, you're still not getting your freak on, are you?" Snow choked on her water and Regina nearly missed a step as she was walking to sit down. Emma, Hook and Neal were cracking up. "What....What did you just say, mother?" Regina asked before sending Henry upstairs. "I said, are you still not getting your freak on?" Charming stood up, "Come on guys, now's not the time to be fighting!" With a simple flick of the wrist, Regina moved Charming out of the way. Sending him flying into the couch to sit next to Emma. "That's what I thought you said. I'll have you know that I have no trouble in that department, thank you very much. So you can keep your comments to yourself and worry about your own set of cobwebs down there." Hook snorted again. "I can assure you there are no cobwebs, I have my fun all the time." Cora answered with a smirk. "I'm gonna hurl!" Neal shouted as he held his stomach. Snow furrowed her brow, "You guys are gross." Emma nodded, "Indeed they are. But that doesn't change the fact that Neal brought some random chick in our house." Everyone turned to Neal. "That's right Neal. Kindly don't do it again." Charming instructed as he stood up. "But Emma had someone in her room before we went on that crazy ass vacation!" Neal shouted, quickly trying to defend himself. Snow gasped, "That's right! I remember I asked you about it and you avoided the question!" Emma frowned, "That wasn't a random person though!" Cora tilted her head, "So it was someone we knew? Who do we know that has short, brunette hair...Hmm..." Everyone except Emma looked at Regina. "Oh shit! I didn't know you were playing for the other team! Viva La SwanQueen!" Cora cheered and Regina groaned. "We were not doing what you think!" Snow folded her arms, "We're all adults here Regina. We can put two and two together."

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