Keith's p.o.v
"Ok paladins today we will be doing more bonding exercises" allura says "we will be sharing our thoughts and responses about each other". "Allura I get its for voltron and all but I don't feel comfortable with this" I say "just try it keith or are you scared" lance says, not wanting to draw attention anymore to myself I ignore lance and we begin. "Let's start with thoughts on keith" great just my luck, lance immediately opens his mouth "well I for one feel he's pretty but too depressing". I stay quiet as pidge goes next "it's really weird how you wear jackets inside it could be the middle of summer and you'd still have it on" pidge says. Hunk goes next "I have two questions one well uh, why do you block people out and why do you misbehave or lash out?" If I hear one or two more questions I'm break gonna inside. "Alright my turn" shiro say but then takes a pause looks me straight in the eyes and asked, "why do you cut your wrist". I jump up "THATS IT I TRIED TO LISTEN AND DO THIS "EXCERSICE" BUT THESE QUESTIONS ARE NOT WHAT I WAS FINE WITH" I shout, "KEITH AKIRA KOGANE YOU WILL SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW" shiro yells. "Are you even trying to help this team because it feels as if you aren't" allura says, lance speaks "is it for attention or to be in the spotlight".
"Why the word I hear questions most begin with. Why do you wear jackets in the middle if summer, why do you misbehave. Why do you say your trying when you aren't. Why do you block people out. Why are you so beautiful but so depressing. Why do you cut your wrist, is it for attention or to be in the spotlight.
My answers is to your questions are, I wear jackets because some scar I don't want seen. I'm not misbehaving I'm venting the anger and suicidal thoughts I have bottled in.
For YOU to say I'm not trying is the most insulting thing because, YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE PAIN AND SUFFERING I GO THROUGH BEHIND MY CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR. I TRY MY HARDEST TO BE THE BEST I CAN FOR THE TEAM, SO FOR YOU TO TELL ME I'M NOT, THINK AGAIN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MY WORLD LOOKS LIKE.
"Why do you block people out," you would to if everyone in you've ever loved left or disappeared, so yes I have some walls up. I'm sorry for having emotions other than happiness, but being sorry is something I am on a regular basis. Sorry I exist, sorry you have to deal with me who happen to waltz into your life, I'm sorry you have to deal with the quiet "emo" with a hot-temper that doesn't listen. The loser with the mullet, annoyance you shouldn't have to deal with, the burden, I'm sorry you didn't get to pick how I act, think or look. I'm sorry for trying to protect my fragile broken heart, but I'm most sorry you had to meet me.
I wish I could see what you mean when you saying I'm beautiful, I am blind to what appears in the mirror for the voices in my head shout hideous, ugly, disgusting, noone even wears a mullet. My mullet is here because I've given up on my appearance, what you see changes but what I see is still the hideous boy in the mirror staring at me. So I cut because the voices stop shouting hideous, awful or ugly, they whisper pain helps, deeper, more blood.
I don't cut for the attention that's why I wear my jacket all the time. I hate the spotlight because, the moment I step in it my anxiety is sky high, eyes locked on you watching your every move some enjoy it I despise it. I'm not as greedy as some think, depression isn't a cry for attention it's a hell that some can't go through, so they cut it short. I hope your not suprised when you hear this but I've been one of the people to try and cut it short, if I am successful in doing so please don't forget about me." I say "keith" shiro whispers "私をほっといて" I say as I leave the room tearing up.
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Hi this is my first keith fanfiction, so I hope you like it.
私をほっといて = leave me alone
