Sometime You Just Never Know

Real life 27

It was 3:15 and I was starting to get anxious now. I didn't think I could go through this again. So I start to text Chris I know he would be able to get be to do it.

Jackie: Hey Chris I don't think I can do this I can't tell him.

Chris: yes you can Jackie just tell him like you told me. It'll be fine okay.

Jackie: I don't know Chris.

Chris: Hey, hey breath alright you'll be fine, when is he comeing over

Jackie: 3:30

Chris: oh okay, so soon then, you'll be fine just tell him, he'll be there for you no matter what. He loves you and isn't going to stop because of what you tell him.

Chris: Okay.

Jackie: okay, okay I can do this, I just gotta tell him, that's all. Thank you Chris I gtg I think he's here now.

Chris: Alright you can do this.

It was him and I went to go open the door for him. He looked concerned and I couldn't look him in the eye. I let him in and he took a step in but then turned to look at me again.

"Are you okay, baby."

"Yeah, I just - I don't know how you're going to take this and it's not something I love to talk about but you need to know, I think it's time you do."

"Okay."

He stepped closer to me and kissed my forehead before taking my face in his hands.

"I love you so much, nothing you say is going to change that, I just want you to know that."

I lead him over to the couch like I didn't with Chris the night before. We sat for a moment before I started.

"So.. You know on Chris's last post on Instagram and my brothers and sisters were talking about...-"

"Yeah."

"So I explained everything to Chris last night and I would have explained everything to you first but you were busy and I -"

"Hey, it's okay, relax baby, you're very tense, it's okay."

He was right I didn't realise I was so tense but his words always calmed me down and soon I was more calm then before.

"It's just not something I love talking about."

"Then you don't have to. Baby you don't have to explain anything."

His eyes were so loving and caring and sincere. I loved him more than anything.

"I know  but I want to tell you I do it's just hard for me talk about."

I could feel the tears gloss over my eyes but I held them back so I could get this out.

"My brother said not to rush into things because I knew what it lead to. Well they were talking about me parents."

I took a deep breath trying to keep the tears in as long as I could. He was just watching me ready to jump in at any moment.

"My brothers just trying to protect me but I don't think I need protecting from you."

"Why would you need protecting from me?"

I could feel myself get tense again and so could he. He put his hand on me leg. [I was sitting crisscross on the couch.]

"Hey, hey shhh it's okay, relax baby. You're okay."

"I don't need protecting from you I know that but he doesn't, he just doesn't want to see what happened with my parents happen to me. My mom and Phil were umm 18 when they got married so you know they were young and rushed into things."

I took another breath and continued.

"He was a drunk and a drug addict and he was abusive ever since they got married. Brad was old enough to see all of that and so was I, I mean I've seen everything he did he didn't try and hide anything he did from us. I grew up with that-...."

That's when I could feel the warm tears start to fall down my face. Sebastian reached up and wiped them away and kissed my forehead. He pulled me a little closer to him so he could put a  hand on each leg and comfort me.

"Shhh, shhh you're okay babygirl, you're okay."

I got a hold of the tears again and continued.

"He was very abusive towards my mom however he never turned on his kids not until later a least. But when Clayton she didn't want him going through what we all did so she filed a divorce and it took him a year to actually sign it. And that was the worst year.. I've ever had it was awful. But Clayton hasn't seen any of that so that's good."

"What do you mean d he didn't turn on his kids until later, did he turn on you guys."

"Umm well he turned on me once and that was the only time he ever went on one of him kids, I was just in the wrong place in the wrong time, but Brad he - He jumped in front of me and he took it. So that I did have to."

I had completely lost control of the tears of this point thinking of when brad and I were kids and he jumped in front of Phil's beating so that my young self didn't have to go through that. I was full on crying at this point but he was there and I know I would have him through everything.

"Shhh sh sh, you're okay, you're okay babygirl you're alright."

He just held me saying soft nothing's into me ear until I was done and then we just sat like that until we went to bed. When we did go to bed we both got changed and crawled into bed and I curled up into his chest. He held me close to himself and kissed my head and then my lip and then my head again. We both fell asleep in each others arms.