Each night she went out to look at the stars, counting every one in it's glory. One night she saw a boy who took his naps outdoors, she started counting his stars instead.
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He called her, he did. His head was a mess and he was lost in his own thoughts. His brain scattered like the static on the TV. He suffered the people in his head screamed at him and tore every muscle of brain to shreds.
He knew he was lost, his mother acknowledge the difference when he smiled. His eyes looked so empty, but how would you feel if you have everything in your grasp. Suddenly it was torn away from you and all you could hear is everyone laughs at you while you drown yourself in your own sorrows.
Of course he was happy, she was happily living her dream, why shouldn't he be happy? Was it because she was going on without him, was he scared they would take advantage of her to. Was he afraid that she would be lost without him? Was he scared that she felt the same way he did with his feelings devouring him from the inside and out? Why did it have to be her he was worried about?
He was fine living his life before he met her but, now that he looks back he noticed he was half empty and not half full. That she completed his heart and made him smile. With her he asked stupid questions and laughed at 2 am when they were watching the stars. It was then he realized her hand fits in his so perfectly and how his chest only beat for her. It was only when she left that he figured out that he loved her.
Why? Why did it have to take so long when they could be video chatting every night exchanging I love you's. Now he sat with the phone in his hand calling her over and over again to only hear... aing, aing, the caller you are trying to reach is unavailable and is not accepting any calls at this time. Yet, it rang, it beeped, and it beat for her. Was she trying to get rid of him?
He didn't understand the loss of her sleep from practicing too hard. He didn't understand all the medication she took to numb the pain. He didn't know how many times she cried wishing he was by her side. He didn't know, no he didn't. He wants to know what's it's like to have her in his arms again. So he called, in hope to her soft reassuring voice that will tell him everything is okay.
Did he care too much? Was he afraid that his brain came up with so many scenarios that almost ended his life and almost stopped his breathing? His thoughts dangled him from the edge of a cliff. His thoughts held a razor to his wrist when he thought he was numb. How could he love? How could an abandoned heart hurt this much?
However at the end of the night when his body would fall limp, phone clenched to his chest and her letter at his bedside table. However at the end of the night when his mind would blow over leaving tears on his pillow, he was calm. The stars brought him pain yet he cared for them so much.
He cared for her so much.
I bust a big fat soft UWU at the selfie he posted the other day. I took all my will power not to count his freckles~ god he is so handsome.
