Chasing forever: Book 1

Chapter 39

Kendra's P.O.V.

"Are you gonna be ok...living alone?!" Jenna asked. i nodded "okey...call me later." She said plainly and i nodded, took Jady's hand and walked out the door.

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"Mommy! We home!" Jady said excitedly as we pulled up to our house forced a smile at her. I unbuckled her from her car seat and lifted her down to the ground. "can you take Duke inside?!" i asked her handing her Duke's leash. she smiled and took the leash form my hand. "Come Duke!" she yelled and pulled the leash. i grabbed the cats crate and our bags and walked into the house.

I putt the bags down on the floor and looked around the house.

It took me six months to step foot in the house again! i wanted to forget him but...he was everywhere! i couldn't go anywhere with out thinking about him!...memories of him haunt me!...it hurt!

"Teddy!" Jady yelled and my head shot up and saw Jady sitting on the couch with Teddy laid across her legs. i was cute and i wanted to smile but...i didn't know how to anymore.

Two days later

*knock knock*

I got up from the couch and walked over to answer the door

"Hey!" Jen said standing at the door "hi...what are you-" she cut me off "we need some best friend time together!" she said walking into the house. then out of nowhere Louis walked in too. "um..." i said confused "Oh! If you don't mind Lou's gonna take Jady to our place to play with Owen!" she said smiling "yah...yah i guess!" I said a bit confused and with that Lou walked out of the door.

"I was just making lunch if you want some" i offered walking into the kitchen "that would be great!" she smiled throwing her self on the couch.

I dished up two bowls of soup and handed one to Jen and sat down next to her. we ate in silence and then i took the bowls to the sink.

Finally i blew. "Why are you here?!" i asked turning around sharply. Jenna sighed "Kendra...you need help!" she said calmly. "excuse me?!" i yelled "Kendra-" i cut her off "i don't need you coming in here...taking my kid to god knows where and telling me what i need to do!" i yelled "Kendra calm down" Jenna said calmly "NO! you have no idea what it feels like to have a kid who remind you of your ex, not be able to go one second with out thinking of him plus see his face everywhere!" I yelled as a few tears rolled down my cheeks "your right...i don't...but you do! and your different...you haven't smiled in forever!...your always so sad and your not being the mother that Jady needs!" she said calmly "are you saying i'm a bad mother?!" i asked offended and no longer crying "no!...i'm saying that your depression is effecting Jay!"

"I haven't noticed a difference in Her!" i said a bit calmer "i have!...and so has Lou!...she's not as loud and playful any more" Jen explained "that's called growing up!" i yelled "that's call depression!" Jen yelled back and i knew she was right...about everything "Kendra you need help!" she yelled and i cried again, putting my face in my hands. "here!...i know it's not the most sensitive thing in the world but...well...just think about it...okey!" And with that she walked out the door.

i looked up and saw a little piece of paper sitting on the coffee table. i walked over and picked it up

Dr.J.Hands

Guidance and couples counsellor

And right beside these words was a picture of a dark haired, nice looking lady.

I sighed, sat down on the couch and starred at the card.

before i knew it Duke was lying next to me with his head on my knees looking up at me with worried eyes. "I know i need help Duke" i said crying. he instantly sat up and pawed my leg. i wrapped my arms around his neck, hugged him and cried "oh Duke...what's happened to me?!" i yelled still hugging him and still crying.

~~~~

"Hello this is Dr.Hands office. Carne speaking!"

"Hello...i would like to make an appointment to see Dr. Hands...please"

~~~~

A week later

"Hello! I'm Dr.Hands but you can call me Jamie!" the dark haired woman from the picture said walking into the room and giving me her hand to shake

The room wasn't overly big...it had two couches in it, a coffee table, a desk and a book shelf

"Kendra Evens" i said shaking her hand. "Well Kendra...take a seat!" she said gesturing to one if the couches and sitting in the other one. I obeyed and sat down. "so...lets start off with telling me about your self...how would you describe your personality?!" she asked. i thought for a bit then spoke "um...loud...caring...um...fragile-" she cut me off "ok...so judging on just how you look...i'm guessing right now nothing other than fragile is showing...because of something that is bothering you...now...my job is to find out what that is!" she smiled

"what if i know what's causing my depression?!" I asked "Kendra...quite often people think they know whats wrong but it's something deeper down that is causing the hurt" she explained and i nodded

"Ok...so tell me about you family!" she smiled "um...my mom and dad live here in Saskatoon.i have an older brother who is a sound engineer. i have two younger sisters who are still in school. i've lived with my best friends since i graduated high school until about a year and a half ago when i bought a house with my fiancé...and i have a kid and one one the way" i explained "i see...tell me more about you fiancé" she instructed "well...at the time he was my fiancé but now he's...he's...my ex" i said holding back my tears

"oh!...honey...this is not a place if judgement!...i'm here to help you...you don't have to hold back you tears!"

I took a deep breath and then let my tears flow. Jamie smiled

"tell me about your relationship between you and..."

"Harry...well...we started dating and everything was fine until...he got me pregnant...i was really mad at him for awhile but then things went on as normal. i had my babies...Jady...and...and Kenna...but...Kenna died...then he purposed...and then about...five months after i told him i wanted to have another baby and then i went on tour and had depression and had an incident with drugs and...the baby died" i said crying. i cough my breath and then continued "Harry started drinking again and we split up for six months and then...we got back together and he proposed again...and he left me at the alter...because he cheated on me...and thats when i told him that i was pregnant again and told him to leave" i continued crying. "i see...and did Harry drink before you second baby pass away?!" she asked and i nodded "when Kenna died he drank...but not for very long" i answered and she nodded "i see...your mad at Harry now aren't you." i nodded "but Harry probably just triggered your depression...he probably is a big part of it but...you wont be fully recovered if we can't find all of the parts of it...it's like a jigsaw puzzle...you can't finish it unless you have all the pieces...and thats what i'm here for...to help find the lost piece" she smiled.

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"ok so lets schedule your next appointment for same time Friday...i'll get you in three days a week...i want you to enjoy Christmas!...oh! and bring your friends in if you can" she instructed "um... i can bring one in but...the other one lives in Ireland so we'll see if we can have her in...when she's in Canada" i suggested "oh!...ok!" she said a bit surprised.

i nodded got up and walked to the door but then...i stopped...i had to know!

"Um...Jammie...do you know who i am?!" I asked turning around to face her. she nodded "i treat all my patients the same because a lot of the time with famous people special treat meant is what's causing their depression" she explained and i nodded and tuned around.

REALLY BAD, BORING LONG CHAPTER...SORRY!!!!

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