Boundaries

Conor: Anabelle

{Conor}

I woke up on my own in Grant's bed feeling much less dizzy than yesterday. I was glad for the bed, glad I felt rested for the first time in a while. I pulled my legs out from the covers, determined to make it to medical before Tish dragged me to the cafeteria again. I was glad to have the opportunity to be out and about, but I felt bad that Ralph and I hadn't really talked since Tish had been back. I was here for him, not for other reasons.
But when my socked feet touched the floor, I realized that my brush with death had left me more frail than I expected; I fell the moment I tried to stand, managing to catch myself on the mattress, so my knees didn't hit the floor. Still, it made a large thump and Tish was over in a moment, helping me off the ground.
"Conor," she scolded. "What were you thinking?"
"I forgot," I admitted, accepting her help to sit on the bed again. "I expected to be able to walk normally, and before you start, yes, I know how ridiculous that is."
"You were weaker before the silver," Tish reminded me. "Had you been eating enough, you probably would have been fine today. Do you feel up to the cafeteria?"
"I don't want to deal with hunters," I confessed.
"It's early enough we should have the space mostly to ourselves. I'll get you a tray if that would make you feel better."
I shrugged. "It's fine. I'll manage."
I accepted Tish's help up and we shuffled down the hall.
"You might as well move your clothes into Grant's room, at this rate," she observed. "That way you can change – do you need to do laundry? We'll go down to the laundry services this afternoon."
"I should grab Ralph's bag too, in that case," I replied. "And I'd like to spend the morning with him."
"Yeah, definitely," Tish said easily as we walked into the cafeteria. "How about you sit? I don't want you collapsing with a tray: that'll just make a mess. Tea?"
"I can..."
"Conor, it's okay that you can't," she interrupted with a laugh, guiding me to a table. "Just wait a minute."
I huffed and sat down, unhappy that I knew that she was right. I was comfortable being the one people relied on, on the other way around. I wondered if this was how Ralph felt and resolved to add it to my growing list of questions for him.
"Here we are," Tish brought a tray with several plates, taking one of the plates for herself. "And tea."
"Thank you," I replied.
"You being poisoned aside, it's much nicer to eat with another person here," she said. "The hunters leave us alone. And unlike some, I know that not eating isn't an option."
"I was eating," I grumbled.
"Not enough," she shot back. "Conor, I tossed you on the mat like you weighed nothing. Why do you lose weight so fast?"
I frowned, trying to remember one of Susie's papers on wolves.
"Wolves eat more of their body weight in a day," I said. "I guess that part carried over. I ate twice as much as Keith back home; how did you not notice this?"
"I wasn't watching you eat then," Tish snorted. "I wasn't exactly eating a lot myself if you recall. Susie Lynn put food on my plate. I ate it." She sighed. "I miss that kid. She's been emailing me, but the emails just make me want to duck out of this place and go back to Montana."
"Oh?"
"Mel seems to be a little hysterical without Ralph," she said. "Susie's being kind, but it sounds like they are working around the clock to alter the house and start some of the spring projects early just to stay busy. I think Nolan was an evil dude, but... if he lost his partner long ago, I could see why he turned into what we met. I don't want the same for Mel. The hunters wouldn't tolerate it. And your pack...they're strong enough to take on some hunters without a problem. It would be a messy fight with you and me in the middle."
"This is true," I agreed.
We finished our French toast and bacon and then headed back out to medical. Ralph was already awake and in his wheelchair, doing spins in the hall with Grant egging him on. Frank rolled his eyes when he saw us.
"You give a man a set of wheels, and it's only a matter of time before he's drifting and doing donuts," he said. "Conor, how are you feeling?"
"Just shaky," I admitted, placing a hand on the wall, so Tish didn't have to support me. "I don't feel nauseous or anything, so I'll assume the worst has passed."
"We're all glad for that," Frank agreed. "Grant, the two of you are going to get me into trouble; stop it."
"Ralph hasn't managed a wheelie yet," Grant complained.
"Give me a couple days, I'll figure it out," Ralph promised with a grin, but he rolled back to Frank.
Grant clapped Tish on the shoulder. "You forgot your phone in your room," he said. "Because Sasha called me. So let's go get that and see what my mother wants this time. Bye Ralph, see you Conor."
"See you," I called back as the two of them headed off this floor.
"Jen said something came up at the hospital, so she's not going to be able to make it," Frank told us. "But I was wondering if you'd be willing to do one more MRI, Ralph. I'd like to do a scan of your spine while you're a wolf if that's all right."
"Yeah, sure. Now?"
"I'll have to make sure that Henson hasn't wandered away, but yes," Frank agreed. "See you down in the lab in thirty?"
Ralph nodded. Frank hurried off, and I realized I hadn't made it back to our room. I wasn't sure how I was going to move from my location against this wall.
"I'm going to need some help," I conceded. "The last time I stood on my own, I just crumpled."
Ralph rolled his wheelchair next to me.
"Just grab the back of the chair; I think there are handles there," he suggested. "We only have ten feet, and then you can collapse on my bed or something."
It was awkward, but we managed to shuffle back to the room. I sat with relief in one of the chairs; it wasn't that my muscles were sore; they were just floppy and weak. It was very annoying.
"You're going to disagree, but I think you should stay here when I get this test," Ralph remarked. "Peter gave me his office number, I can ask him to come down. But you are in no position to be following me about, not unless you've got a wheelchair of your own."
"I know," I grumbled. "I understand. I guess this is payback for following you around all the time."
"I'm not sorry you came with me," Ralph told me. "And I'm grateful for your concern. But now that I'm mobile, I am capable of looking after myself. And you apparently."
"Ha ha." I rolled my eyes.
"It's a good thing Tish is around," he observed. "I could use another set of eyes to look after you."
"I guess, I wish I knew what to do about her, though," I admitted. "Things seem a little awkward like she's trying to prove something she doesn't have to."
"Well Conor, you're not exactly the most communicative person I know," Ralph pointed out. "I imagine she's trying to guess what you're thinking or feeling. Just tell her."
"I did," I protested. "I told her I needed time to think about it. Ralph, if Stefa came through that door right now.... I would sweep her into my arms and demand to know where she's been. But I'd probably forgive her. I'd probably go back with her once we got you home. It's not the right thing to do, but it's what I want."
"There was this girl who worked next to the post office," Ralph began, seemingly off-topic. "Her name was Anabelle, and she was older than me. It was high school, I'd met Mel, but we weren't dating yet. Anabelle was a senior, she was a...well, a buxom lass. High school me was enamored."
"Buxom?" I questioned.
Ralph sort of gestured at his chest, and I guess she had larger breasts. Some of the others had tried to explain this attraction when it had come up in movies, but I doubted that I would ever understand.
"It's awkward now of course because I think on how crude I must have been, how vulgar. Anyway, she took a liking to me for some reason. I thought she was the world. She was so classy and funny and beautiful. We ended up having sex in like, my dad's car; so many bad choices were made." Ralph frowned. "I wish you could appreciate how uncomfortable this story makes me. But there's a point to it."
"Okay," I offered.
"The dance was coming up, I was a junior, and so the smart thing would have been to invite someone younger or even my own age. But I didn't do the smart thing. I asked Anabelle after school one day, with, I found out a moment later, her boyfriend within earshot. That moment later, I had a black eye and Anabelle swearing up and down she had never even met me before. It felt like the whole school saw the exchange, but I'm sure it was like, ten people. I had to make up an explanation when I got home, my mother thought I had gotten hurt in baseball and almost made me quit the team. I couldn't even go to the dance, I was so embarrassed." Ralph smiled. "But I saw Mel coming out of the grocery store the day of the dance, headed home. And I asked her if she owanted to come over, play Scrabble." Ralph grimaced. "I was an awkward teenage boy. I like to think I would have better moves now."
"Your moves seemed to have worked," I pointed out.
"Against all reason. Anyway, the point of that story was that sometimes you meet people that you're attracted to, that you'd do anything for. But that doesn't make them good people in your life. Sometimes you end up with a black eye."
"You're saying that Stefa is my Anabelle?" I questioned.
"She might be," Ralph replied.
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I think Conor probably doesn't appreciate how awkward this talk was for Ralph, but hopefully you guys do, haha. Thanks for reading, we'll be on a more regular schedule next week.