Boundaries

Tish: starting over

{Tish}

I didn't get a chance to talk to Conor because Susie Lynn didn't let me out of her sight until we had finally settled with some popcorn for a movie in the late evening. I could tell that Conor was restless, and so I got his attention and nodded toward the bedroom. We both rose from our seats and headed downstairs.

Today hadn't been as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Having Brian ask about the burns on my face in front of everyone meant that I only had to have the conversation twice, once with Susie Lynn and once with them. I knew that some of the pack were stealing sidelong glances, wondering as I did why the burns hadn't healed yet. But like me, they would then glance towards Ralph's wheelchair and frown, realizing that we weren't quite as impervious to damage as we wanted to believe.

"I brought your bag down here, but I didn't ask if you wanted your own bedroom," Conor said. "I doubt Mel's moved any of your things."

"I should probably stay up there for now," I told him. "Susie Lynn seems determined to wake me for boxing lessons at the crack of dawn. When that settles down, I'll move. How's being home?"

"Weird," he sighed. "Everything's changed again. The first time when I was gone, the pack had time to bond without me. The second time, when I was with Stefa, Grant was here, teaching people to fight and defend themselves. Now Mel's done all this work on the farm, and I've strolled in and am not a part of this place anymore."

He sat on his bed. "The downstairs is the only place Ralph can't go," he said. "At least, not yet. Nothing in this room has changed in the slightest, but the whole farm looks different now."

"She didn't do it to hurt you," I pointed out, sitting beside him.

"I know. But I have to start all over for the third time. Do you think if I were really human, that this would be so hard? Is there something I just don't understand?"

I considered his question, thinking about all the emails I had received from Susie Lynn.

"Mel and Ralph considered you to be their son, a part of their family, not just their pack. Susie Lynn feels the same. But family is different for wolves, isn't it? There would always come a time that you would have to sever ties as a wolf."

Conor nodded.

"Human families are different," I told him. "The bond between Aidan and Keith is stronger than pack affiliation. Ralph and Mel are closer to Susie Lynn than they are to Katie because Susie is their daughter. You'll never have to sever ties with them, regardless where you go or whom you're with. You'll always be welcome home with open arms because they love you, Conor. And you can't push them away because to them, you're family. You're a brother and a son. You'll still have disagreements, and there will be days that you want to sever ties forever because sometimes having people who care about you that much is stressful, but it won't change your relationship with them."

"Even if they're gone?" Conor asked.

At first, I didn't know what he was asking but realized he was talking about my own, murdered family. I swallowed back some tears.

"Yeah," I said. "Even when they're gone. Finding Brian was a relief that I didn't know I needed. We've been separated for a decade, but there is still a strong connection that I'm grateful to have again."

Conor wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug.

"Thank you," he said.

"What are girlfriends for?" I teased, kissing his cheek. "Now hop up; I have an idea about this bedroom of yours."