The gangleader and me

Chapter 34

Cassandre POV

My grip on Jake's shoulders decreased but I didn't let go completely. Even if I trusted Nate and knew he was telling the truth, I stayed shield behing my muscular boyfriend and his boss. I needed to keep this sense of security. I watched him fiddle with his hands in nervousness. But I kept silent, just looking at him and waiting for his tale. He opened his mouth many times but shut it instantly. Probably trying to figure out what he was going to say. And then he started :

« As you may know from Jake, I started the gang with him. I was the first person he trained. The first he let in in his little entreprise. After a few months, I was as skilled as him. I started to enjoy what we were doing. I grew up in a rough part of town. I never really had a family and before Jake, the streets were my house. Jake became like a brother to me but I was overjoyed when he told me his little secret. Learning to fight was exhilirating to me. It made me feel a hundred times more powerful. I killed for the first time at 20 during the assault on these fuckers of Red Eyes. We took over their headquarters, their men and all of their connections. I became Jake's right hand. And I liked it. I finally felt powerful. »

« But after a few years, we were still not good enough. We needed more, we wanted more. So we decided to expand. We took over the italian mob first and succeded. Then we went for the Russian. It took us a lot of time to breach their warehouse. And eventhough, we were really preppared, they outsmarted us. We had a mole who sold our information to them. We fought and all but I was captured by them. »

« Then started the most painful year of my life. As soon as they got me back to their headquarters, they started torturing me for information. I was whipped, cut, punched, drowned multiple times a day only to get me to break my vow to the only family I ever had. I never did. I kept the strongest face I ever worn and I shown those son of bitches who they were messing with. They understood after a while that they wouldn't be able to break me so they changed tactics. They decided that I could be useful and killing me would have be a waste. They chose a different option. They brainwashed me. They made me their puppet. If they told me to blink, I would blink. If they told me to kill, I would kill. I did many gruesome things under their command but I was never in control of my mind nor my body. It was as if I was just watching myself from afar. By that time, Jake had tried everything he could to find and rescue me but they moved me from places every weeks... At one point when I had became a killing machine, they set me loose to confront my friends. I don't really remenber what happened at that time but I know that I almost killed them all... «

« But the guys fought me and for me. They brought me back home and months of sufferingwere awaiting all of us. They locked and tied me up and made it their mission to bring me back to who I really was. To the family. I am forever grateful for this. When I finally found who I was again, I made it my personnal mission to get revenge over the Russians. I played their game. Pretended I was still their object and at the final moment I took my chance. I will spare you the details. Whatever they did to me is still in me Cassie. It is something that sometimes resurfaces and that is out of my control. I wish I could stop it but I can't. They damaged me for real and forever. But as long as I have these guys around, I know I will be fine. »

At the end of his story, he looked around himself and gave a grateful smile at all of the guys before landing his gaze on me.
During the tale, I had moved from behind Jake to his lap. My back was pressed to his chest and his arms encircled my waist holding me closer to him. Sometimes during Nate's speech, he would hold me closer as if he was trying to get confort from me or as if he was reminiscing those horrible times.
I met Nate's desperate eyes and my expression soften. I untangled myself from Jake's embrace and walked towards Nate. He was looking nervous in frotn of me, figdeting on his feet and all. The site was truly touching. It was like he was scared of my reaction, of wether or not I would forgive him. Taking him by surprise, I hugged him.

« I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. It must have been awful... I can't even imagine the pain you went through. But don't ever point a gun at me, got it ? » I told him with a stern look.

He smiled back at me and nodded.

« Hey, what about my hug ? I had a terrible time too. » Tyler whined behind us.

« Did you get abducted, brainwashed and almost killed your best friend's girlfriend lately ? » Chris asked him.

« Well no but I did get a splinter in my finger this morning look » he told us showing off his finger with a proud expression.

We all laughed at his childish behavior.

« Since everybody is in need of confort, how about I make cookies ? » I proposed

Tyler jumped out of his seat like a ten year old who just learned Santa passed and the rest just watched him with amusement. I shooed everyone out of the kitchen and started taking everything I needed.
I started the batter and all of Nate's story was playing over and over in my mind. I tried to stop thinking about it but it was impossible ... At the end only I thought only about one thing :

'What if next time, the person is me ?'