Hide Me - Dolan Twins

Eighteen - Chasing Waterfalls

Ethan's POV

The golden glow from the setting sun sat on my face. The sound of cicadas hung low in the sticky summer air. This had been the first time in months I was able to sit outside and just take in my surroundings. Being a lawyer came with a lot of work. Although I did enjoy my job it brought on a lot of stress. Especially when I had to deal with Grayson's messes. The dimmed sun shined perfectly on the backyard garden. Before my mom passed away it was her pride and joy. I remember spending endless afternoons out here with my mother while my dad was away on business trips. She was passionate about the garden and the way she talked about and handled each leaf, each vine, each flower with care amazed me. But on the inside I knew she loved it so much because it was her's. Something she put her hard work into that she could call her own. Everything she had was handed to her by my father. Of course he only wanted the best for us. But sometimes I got the feeling that my mother felt trapped. Her life revolved around domesticity and taking care of my brother and I. She has to stay in the house a majority of the time and the only "friend" she had was Maria due to the business my father was in. Everyday I regret that she died not being able to live the life she truly wanted. But there was nothing I could do.

"Um Ethan", Rose coughed out from beside me. I recollected myself from my train of thought. I had nearly forgotten that she was sitting on the bench next to me waiting to hear what I wanted to tell her. What I had to say was long overdue.

"I shouldn't have brought you here", I tell her truthfully. I wanted to help Rose, but the situation had I put her in, the situation me and Grayson are in, would do anything but help her.

"Ethan what are you talking about?", she said as she turned to face me.

"When I saw you Rose, you needed help", I began, "Any person with a heart would've helped with the condition that you were in.", I took in a deep breath, "But Grayson was right. I was using you. But not as a charity case to make me feel better. I just got so invested in making sure that you were okay and safe and taken care of that I kept you around for my own selfish reasons. When Alaina died, for months on end I blamed myself. That I wasn't there for her. That I didn't give her enough care. That I couldn't keep her safe and for the past three years I have carried that burden around keeping it pushed down beneath the surface. And when I saw you and you looked just like her," I continued turning to face Rose, a single tear beginning to fall down my cheek, "I saw an opportunity to take you in and get some type of closure and I don't know I figured that if I did this then I would stop hurting but now I realize that bringing you here, into this, was the second biggest mistake of my life", I finished, my face clad in tears and snot making its way out of my nose.

"Ethan, who's Alaina?", she asked as she took in one of my hands, holding it in comfort. Her eyes were sympathetic and having her see me like this wasn't favorable, but I had no control over my emotions. I had been burying them for too long.

"She was my girlfriend. Her name was Alaina and we were together for two years. That may seem like a short time but I loved her. I saw a future with her. But she was taken away from me. GRAYSON TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME. HE TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME AND I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET HER BACK", I screamed, pointing to my chest, tears running down my face. Every time I spoke about her I got emotional. But this time I was losing it.

"Ethan?", she began as she made me look at her, "Did Grayson kill her?", she finished, looking back and forth in my eyes for answers, hers becoming glossy. He might as well have.

"A year into our relationship she started hanging out with Grayson more. I didn't think much of it because I trusted him. Then I found out she was hanging out with his friends as well and they were all doing things that she had no business doing. I told her to stop but she didn't listen. Then one day while hanging out with them a car drove by and started shooting and she got hit. Then he covered up her death so that whatever they were doing they wouldn't get time for. SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET JUSTICE. THOSE FUCKERS ARE STILL OUT THERE AND SHE ISN'T BECAUSE OF HIM. HE KNEW HOW MUCH SHE MEANT TO ME! ME! HIS OWN BROTHER, BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN CARE AND NOW SHE'S GONE AND HE STILL DOESN'T CARE. MY ALIANA GONE", I finished while breaking down crying into her arms. That was the first time I had gotten through that story. It was hard. And I was still in pain, but finally getting it out was a relief.

"Ethan I- I'm so sorry you had to go through that", she sniffled.

"Sorry doesn't help", I say as I pulled away from her, "I don't want Grayson to get you too. I don't think I'd be able to live knowing that I put you there".

"Ethan stop talking like that. Nothing is going to happen to me okay. I'll be fine I promise", she reassured me as she wiped her tears. I know she was just trying to make me feel better and maybe even convince herself that she'd be fine with Grayson, but I knew the reality. And that was that with Grayson there was no escaping the chaos that accompanied him.

"But Ethan there's something I need to tell you"....