Impregnable {A Walking Dead Fanfiction}

Eight

    A week later, I hadn't broken down like I thought I would. I kept my head up, refusing to make this anyone else's problem. I sat awake by the dying campfire most nights, sleep didn't seem appealing when I had this much on my mind. I felt distant from everyone and hollow. From the pitied looks my neighbors would give me when I dared to look up and make eye contact, I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding it. Shane was my ever-present shadow, he gave me space but was never out of eyesight for more than a few minutes. It almost started to annoy me. I didn't need to be babysat, and I didn't need my own personal suicide watch. 

    Lori had offered to step up and be fully responsible for Mable. She came to me one night and told me she thought it would be for the best, for all of us. I refused. It was selfish, but I needed something to fight for. She needed me to get better. Mable was what I could only describe as shell-shocked, too much to put the pieces together or ask too many questions. She'd ask "Where's daddy?" We'd lie and say he was hunting, or off with the other men. "He'll be back later, now go play with Carl." None of us knew how to tell her, or wanted to be the one to do it. 

    I finally returned to his grave early in the morning on the seventh day. All that was left to remember him was a few of his belongings and a rectangle of loose dirt. "I'm sorry I was so angry..." I said, barely above a whisper. I stood there in silence, the warm breeze blowing my hair, breathing in the fresh air. I heard the sound of heavy boots approaching me from behind. "You seem to be takin' this well." A man's voice said behind me, one of the brothers. "Sure are movin' on quickly..." I turned to see Merle, standing only a few feet away from me. "What are you talking about?" I asked, trying not to sound annoyed. He laughed "I've seen you and Shane. You willin' to show anymore lovin'?" He said, stepping closer to me. "What are you talking about?" I scoffed, stepping away from him. "So he's just your keeper, nothin' more?" He scoffed, "Bullshit." "I don't need to be kept, I can take care of myself," I said, my shaky voice failing me. I searched around for anyone who had wandered to the outskirts of camp, we were completely alone. "What's with the attitude, grasshopper? Somethin' wrong with me?" He said, coking his head to the side and smiling at me with big, rotten teeth. "C'mon, what's wrong with letting off a little steam?" He asked, reaching out to grab my shoulder. I smacked his hand away and took a step towards him. "If you ever lay a hand on me again, I will end you," I growled, walking past him toward camp before he had time to respond. I'm sorry, Cam, maybe we can catch up later. 

    I returned to camp and found Mable awake on the Winnebago bed, she smiled to greet me. We had breakfast and I filled a large wash basin with the rest of our water supply, dragging it into the sunlight to warm until the afternoon. Andrea and Amy set off on the three-mile hike to the nearest stream to refill, Shane and a few others set off to hunt. After the sun was high in the sky and the water was warm I gave Mable a bath, washing layers of dirt off her soft skin. I dressed her in her last clean outfit and laid with her on the bed in the Winnebago, rubbing her back until she drifted to sleep. 

    Matt taught me how to start a fire with flint and a pocket knife. Flick...flick...flick...nothing. I was losing hope when a large ember flew off the flint onto the small pile of kindling at the base of the fire. "You got it!" Matt exclaimed. I tried to remember what he'd taught me only a few minutes before. I bent down and cupped my hands around the ember, blowing softly. Two more deep breaths and the ember billowed smoke and grew into a small flame, beginning to burn my hands. I took a small stick and pushed the flame into the center of the fire, watching it ignite. "Impressive, you're a quick learner," Matt said, walking over and placing a few larger sticks at the base of the fire. 

    "We weren't able to loot as much as we'd hoped from I-75, we need hunting supplies and medicine," Dale called out, standing in front of our group as we gathered for dinner. Carol poured bowls of vegetable soup from a large pot and passed them to Sophia to hand out. "A few of us are heading into Ellijay early tomorrow, we need to get what we can before everything's gone." "Who's going?" Lori asked. "Glenn, Theo, Merle, Daryl, Andrea, and Matt. Any other volunteers?" Dale asked, looking at the crowd. "I'll go," I replied, wiping my clammy hands on my jeans.