The Bad Boy OR The Best Friend

nineteen

One day. Twenty four hours. That's the longest I have ever gone being mad at Evan in the last fourteen years. I think, somewhere deep inside, I knew if I make up my mind, I can be mad at him for longer, but I love him too much to let that happened.

Now? It's been a week since I last said a word to him, and that word being, 'hey.' which was said to five other people along with him. I am not just mad at him, I am angry and most of all, I am hurt. But he doesn't need to know about the hurt part, although I am sure he knows I am incredibly pissed.

After Chris and I left the school that day, he took me to this diner and ordered chicken burger and fries for me, along with strawberry milkshake. I didn't cry, but I also didn't say a word as I ate my food in silence, and he didn't ask me to.

He didn't know about the kiss, but he knew that this was me reacting to the 'I love you.' Now, call me a selfish bitch because I can't bear the thought of Evan loving another person, but in reality, this has nothing to do with him loving Rose.

I mean, of fucking course it would have shattered my heart when he would have said those words to Rose in front of me, but what made me angry and broke my heart was that he said it not even thirty six hours later after we kissed.

It just made me feel like the kiss we shared — while it meant everything to me, it meant nothing more than shit to him. If anything, the kiss must have made him realise that he doesn't have feelings for me, and instead loves Rose. And that is what makes me feel so fucking shitty. I almost feel used, but that's just exaggeration.

If he loved Rose all this while, why the hell did he kiss me? I gulp at the thought, my eyes fixed on the sandwich lying in my lunch tray.

The least Evan could do was wait for a week before declaring his feelings for his girlfriend after kissing me like that. Sure, it was lust and all, I get it. But that kiss — god, I am starting to regret that kiss so fucking much, which I never thought was possible.

"You gonna eat that?" Jordan's voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I look across the table at him.

Rose is sitting beside him, in the middle of him and Evan. Sure, I cannot just starting ignoring my whole group of friends, but no one can force me to interact with Evan, or with his girlfriend for that matter.

She knew what she was doing when she said those words to him in my presence, it was like she was waiting for my appearance. I know that wasn't the first time they exchanged the words in that day, because obviously, she wouldn't have looked so smug about it. She was aware how Evan was going to respond to her. Sure, she had insecurities and she was just marking her territory, but does anyone gives a fuck about my feelings? Absolutely not. Well, apart from Chris because he has been literally 'baby-ing' me the whole week, as if he was afraid I'll break into two.

I wouldn't. What he doesn't know is that I break down every night in my bed so that I can hold it together the next day, so if he was expecting a breakdown in front of anyone, it wasn't going to happen.