The Trials We Face | E. Pevensie

Chap. 6

I stayed in my quarters for a while, creating intricate designs on the ceiling with ice.

I tried to make something beautiful with this power to remind myself it was a blessing.

A challenging blessing, but a blessing nonetheless.

I was stressed and depressed and still terrified. Every time I shut my eyes I saw the giant man and smelled the smoke. I felt his rough hands.

I just focused on my breathing and the ice designs for hours, finishing with a pretty picture of a lion. I left that design on the ceiling as a reminder.

I knew I had drove a barrier between many of my relationships in the last few hours. I could see it in their body language. Caspian was angry, Lucy was upset, Edmund was scared.

But Aslan wouldn't leave me, He would always be there. Yes, I thought, I'll leave the lion on the wall. Aslan, always watching.

I grabbed a candle that was almost completely melted, the hot wax a pool on the bottom of the tray. Carefully I balanced the candle in my hand and slipped out of my room, my bare feet silent upon the ship's wooden floors.

I crept onto the decks and searched for anyone nearby. It was that time between late in the evening and early in the morning - pitch black, with only the stars to keep you company.
Two crew members lingered near the ship's steering wheel, while another sat up on a barrel near them. The men noticed me and greeted me with curt nods. I waved back, then moved on.

Caspian hated it when I did this, but it cleared my mind. I walked to the ship's bowsprit, the large wooden beam that extended over the ocean. I set my candle on a crate and nimbly hopped over the rail and onto the bowsprit. It was sturdy, but thin. One wrong move and I would slip into the ocean, lost in the dark depths. I carefully chose my steps and made it to the end of the bowsprit, then lowered myself so I was saddled on it, my legs hanging over either side, like riding a horse.

I looked down at the ocean water below. The waves lapped against the ship in a constant rhythm. Salty, cool night air blew through my hair. I sat there for a few minutes, breathing in the chilly air.

"You know, I hate when you do this."

Caspian's voice didn't startled me, in fact, I pretty much expected him to show up.

"I won't fall," I replied simply, not turning back to him.

I felt the bowsprit creak and turned, surprised to see my brother shuffling himself towards me.

I chuckled. "Cas, what are you doing? You hate heights."

He let out a shaky laugh. "I'm not looking down, Y/N. Besides, is it a crime to keep my sister company?"

He scooted near me and I gracefully spin so we faced each other. In the moonlight, I could make out his anxious expression.

"Caspian, you don't have to be out here. I know how much this makes you uncomfortable."

Caspian sighed. "I'm fine. I'd do anything for you, sis. Anything."

His tone was genuine, but I detected some harshness in his sentence.

"Are you doing alright?" I asked innocently.

Caspian shrugged. "I- no, Y/N, I'm not. But I don't want to complain."

"Complaining isn't a crime, either, Cas."

"You'll hate me for saying it."