Stray Cat

Chapter Nine

As Phil closed the stationary store for the night, he was running scenarios through his mind. He couldn't help picturing the best and most selfish scenario in which when he came home Dan was waiting and ready to give him a second chance.

Dan had asked him this morning 'Why do you like me?' but Phil had frozen and been unable to answer. In this scenario, Dan gave him another chance to answer and Phil told him that he liked him because he was funny and sweet and clever and... and Phil just couldn't stop thinking about him. About his laugh and his dimples and the way he talks.

Phil sighed and tried to push these thoughts from his mind. He had accepted that he wasn't going to get the best scenario, and he had to be okay with this because the best scenario wasn't the one that was best for Dan, just Phil. He was selfish. He shouldn't have kissed Dan this morning. Dan didn't need someone making a pass at him right now – he needed a friend. So, Phil had to stop and try to take back this morning.

Really, all he should hope for would be that Dan was still willing to talk to him when he got home, so that he could say he was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again. He pictured this ideal scenario. He would come home and they would talk. It might take some time for things to get back to normal as Phil proved to Dan that he could trust him. All he wanted was for Dan to be in his life.

By the time Phil walked home, it was dark out and he had gathered his thoughts enough that he wasn't too nervous as he unlocked the door of his apartment. As he locked the door again and put the chain across, he shouted into the hall, "I'm home!"

It was 7:30PM, so Dan should definitely be awake, but he didn't respond. Phil stood in the dark hallway, straining to hear something, but the apartment was silent. He tried again, "Hello?"

Another scenario started to unfold in his mind. Dan had been terrified when Phil grabbed his arm – what if Phil had scared him so badly that he didn't want to live together anymore? What if he had already left? Phil would have no idea where to look for him if the Neko ran away. He might never see him again.

Panicking, Phil dashed through the apartment. He wasn't sure what he was looking for since Dan hadn't brought any bags with him, so Phil couldn't see if his things were gone. He stopped running suddenly in the living room. No lights were turned on in this room either, but there were enough artificial city lights streaming in from the open curtains that Phil could see. Dan was there, lying on the couch in a bathrobe, facing the wall. He was asleep. He was here. Safe.

Phil stared at him as he tried to even his breathing. He was still tense as his body hadn't gotten the message yet that everything was okay. Phil crossed the room, wanting to touch Dan to reassure himself that the boy was fine. He sat on the coffee table beside the couch, listening to Dan breathe for a moment before he reached out to stroke his curly hair.

He had only touched him lightly, but Dan stirred. He murmured, "Phil?"

"It's me," Phil said in a soft voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep." He shifted slightly, made a noise in the back of his throat, and he didn't try to move any further.

"It's still pretty early. Have you had dinner?" Phil heard Dan make another noise that seemed to indicate that he had eaten, and Phil bit his lip. He knew Martyn brought over food, but he had pictured them talking about their relationship over dinner. As he stared at Dan's unmoving form, it was starting to look like none of that mattered anymore. He reached out to touch Dan again, this time resting a hand on Dan's forehead. "Dan, are you okay? You're pretty warm."

Dan groaned. "I don't feel so good."

Phil felt himself starting to panic again, but he made sure that his voice sounded calm so that he didn't scare Dan. "Are you sick? Let me know what I can do."