Stray Cat

Chapter Seventeen

Phil hesitated at the door of his brother's apartment. He had accidentally left his phone at home, so he couldn't call Martyn and he didn't even know what time it was, though he knew it was so late that Martyn had to be in bed by now. He actually contemplated falling asleep on the floor outside of Martyn's front door, but he knew that finding Phil there would annoy his brother more than being awakened by a knock on his door. The only thing that had Phil hesitating was the fact that he didn't know what to say once Martyn opened the door, but Phil found some courage, knocked, and he waited. He only had to knock a few times before he heard movement in the apartment.

Eventually, the door opened and Martyn stood there rubbing puffy eyes. He was wearing a t-shirt, boxers, and his hair was mussed by sleep. He spoke in a scratchy voice, "Are you okay?"

Phil shook his head. It felt like he was being dishonest, though. Dan was the one who wasn't okay. The only thing that was wrong with Phil was that he felt like he had a gaping hole in his chest.

Martyn looked him up and down, seeing that nothing was physically wrong. "What happened?"

Phil shook his head again. He really didn't know what to say.

"Who is it?" A woman's voice came from within the apartment.

Martyn started to shift the door closed slightly as he looked over his shoulder, but he stopped when he looked back to Phil. "Please, tell me what's wrong. You know I'm here for you."

Phil nodded and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

A woman appeared in the door beside Martyn. She was short and had bright red hair. She was wearing a bathrobe, which she held closed across her chest. Phil didn't know her, but her eyes widened. "This is your brother, right? Phil? What happened?"

Phil glanced at Martyn. He could tell that Martyn hadn't wanted his brother and his girlfriend to meet like this, but the woman's presence seemed to relax him, and Phil saw when Martyn's attention shifted completely to taking care of his little brother. He pushed the door open wider so that Phil could see into the apartment, including the clothes that were discarded on the floor near the couch. "Do you want to come in?"

Phil found his voice, which was scratchy. "Yes please. Could I sleep here? I wouldn't ask if there were anywhere else."

"Of course." The woman reached for him and pulled him into the apartment. He noticed how small her hands were. He followed her as she guided him into the kitchen and then made him sit at a stool by the kitchen island. She started pulling things out of the kitchen cabinets, looking at home in his brother's space, and Phil smiled. She turned around, holding mugs. "Are you thirsty? Could I make you something? Cocoa? Coffee?"

"I'd love some coffee. Thank you." Phil glanced at Martyn as he sat on the stool beside him. "I'm really sorry to show up in the middle of the night like this."

Martyn shrugged. "It's okay. I just want to know what happened. Where is Dan?"

Phil bit his lip, but this first question was easy enough to answer. "He's back at my place."

Martyn nodded. "Okay. And you two had a fight?"

"Sort of..." All Phil could think about was how Martyn had been having conversations with Dan, warning him about hurting Phil. Phil couldn't deny that he was hurt, but it wasn't Dan's fault. He needed to explain this in a way so that Martyn understood it wasn't Dan's fault; it was Phil's and it was the fault of the people who had hurt Dan before he met him.

The woman placed a mug of instant coffee before Phil and asked, "Who is Dan? Your boyfriend?"

Phil nodded and Martyn's eyes widened. "We kind of... got together tonight."

Martyn's eyes scanned Phil's face and he seemed to notice something that made him wince. "It didn't go well?"

Phil wished that Martyn looked more surprised. "It started out great. It was perfect. And then everything went wrong. Please don't blame Dan. I know you're protective of me, but he didn't do anything wrong."

Martyn sighed. "I didn't say that. I just didn't think it would be easy for you guys. I've been there since the beginning, remember? I saw the bruises that Dan had when he first showed up at your place."

That was true – if anyone understood, it should be Martyn. "He... got scared. I think he had a panic attack. I tried to help, but I was just making it worse. He asked me to leave. It was all he asked of me, so I had to do it, but now I feel like shit. Like I abandoned him, and I'm so worried about him. I don't know what to do."

"Oh, sweetheart," the woman said, and she placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"Could I ask your name?" Phil didn't want to keep thinking of her as 'the woman'.

She shot an exasperated glare at Martyn for not introducing her, but it was also full of fondness. The she shifted her kind eyes back to Phil. "I'm Cornelia, and I'm very happy to meet you. I'm so sorry you've had such a rough night."

He gave he a slight smile and a nod, and then he looked at Martyn. "What are you thinking? Have I screwed everything up?"

Martyn started to shake his head, but then he stopped and seemed to think about it more carefully. "I guess that would depend on what you want to happen with Dan. I don't think you're going to lose him that easily. He cares about you a lot, I know that. I think he'll always he your friend if you want him. But if you want more? I don't know. Like I said, I don't think that will be easy. I don't know if..."

Phil nodded. Martyn was right. If Phil lost anything after the disaster of tonight, it would be that: his physical relationship with Dan. If it was going to work out, it wouldn't be easy, but Phil thought it would be okay as long as he didn't lose Dan completely. He needed him in his life, even if he was only a friend. He picked up the coffee that Cornelia had left before him, and took a sip, feeling the warmth of it spread through him. He gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks for this."

"You're welcome. Do you need anything else? Or should I make up the couch if you'd like to get some rest?"

"Don't go to any trouble, but I probably should get some sleep. I have work tomorrow."

"It's no trouble." Cornelia got up, and Phil averted his eyes as she started gathering the scattered clothes from around the couch.

Martyn caught his eye. "Did you leave your phone at your apartment?" Martyn was looking him over and seemed to have noticed that Phil was just wearing a t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms, which didn't have pockets. Phil nodded in answer, and his brother continued, "You could use my phone to call Dan. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I just thought I should offer..." Martyn tapped something that was resting on the countertop; his phone was resting there while it charged.

Phil bit his lip, staring at the phone while he thought about it, but Dan had asked him to go away. He didn't think that Dan wanted a phone call from him right now, so he shook his head. He wouldn't know what to say if Dan answered the phone anyway.

"Okay," Martyn said. "If you change your mind, then feel free to use my phone."