Journal Entries from a Sick Mind

In my mind

I am saddened to report that I've been feeling this way again.
Small and defeated.
Friendless.
The one I called my best friend has a new best friend.  Unfortunate? Quite.
What's worse is the new girl is beautiful, kind, Godly, and full of love.
Now all of her pictures are of her.  I can't remember the last time she tried to take a candid photograph of me like she used to.  To document our memories.
I guess our memories mean nothing.
She's grown cold and distant.  She has new friends now.  They are people that will buy her alcohol for free though she is underage.  They are people that whisper sweet nothings into her ears but they don't know her.  They know well enough how to precisely remove me from her life.  It's working. She doesn't need me. 
The one I call my lover spends every free moment with the worst guy I've met in my life.  My lover's friend says horrible things about me and I'm afraid that my lover chuckles along.
I am in love.  But unfortunately he's not in love.

It aches.  I ache.  My body aches.  I am trying to distract myself.  I am trying to surround myself with people that don't make me feel so alone.  I am truly sorry that I cannot be good enough even for an instance.