Deadpool X Reader!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hitman for hire the ad said.
Of course, Y/n thought of it as a bit odd.
How wrong you were when you received a note written in crayon.
Meet Me.
It read.
"Oh yeah baby! Now all I need to do is set the mood. Candles, For Your Entertainment, and finally! Chimichangas!" I explained, pulling out two fresh chimichangas from my imaginary pockets. Quinn scratched her head in confusion. I hadn't really explained the plan well to her or anyone really.......except me! "Isn't this a bad idea? Like, he's your senpai and Y/n steals him from ya!" Quinn obviously didn't understand logic here, nor does Y/n. Or me! I put a arm around Quinn's neck, pulling her close to me. "Quinn, I can date Wade anytime! X Readers of this do exist! Wait.......do Yandere! Deadpool ones exist too? Awwww." I began to frown as I remembered the pointless web searches of the Yandere! Deadpool X Readers that may never unfortunately, exist. I sighed then snapped my fingers. "Y/n and Wade are gonna be here any moment! We need to help this date go well!" I announced. "I didn't know you were a hooker upper! Say, can you help mmmmmmeeeeeeeeee?" Quinn asked, making puppy dog eyes. "Not now!" I said as I raced over to the DJ station and whispered softly into the DJ's ear. "Ain't that song kinky!" The DJ whispered under his breath. I have to admit it, I am a goddess. I raced back over to Quinn. "Alright! I'll be the waitress! Now then.......where's my maid outfit?!" I ran into the girls' bathroom and came out wearing a maid's outfit with a long skirt. I clapped my gloved hands together as a line of chefs beginning to come out with sliver platters. They all began to circle around Y/n's and Wade's table. Quinn ran over and placed a bouquet of white roses in the middle of the table. Though, the white wouldn't remain but we'll keep it anyway! I looked down at my watch and immendiatly, a bell rang. I looked up to see Y/n all dolled up wearing a f/f/o and Deadpool wearing something else besides his suit! Honestly, it looked so cute! God, I wish I had my phone on me. Wait...... I looked down at the pouch in my maid's outfit. My phone laid asleep in there. I rolled my eyes and took out my phone. "I'm such an idiot!" I laughed to myself. I then set up a good angle to take the shot. "One...two...fuck it!" I immendiatly took the picture then stopped to admire the cute couple. Unfortunately, I spotted something horrendous! They! Were! Not! Holding! Hands!
"C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!" I heard Quinn as she pulled out a chair for each of them. Y/n sat down with Deadpool sitting in front of her/him. If I died tonight, tell my senpais that I will join them in hell. I walked over to the couple's table. "Sooooooo! Whatcha like for dinner tonight ya fine cinnamon rolls? Oh! I mean friends!" I gave Deadpool a smile. "Well, what would the fe/male like?" Deadpool asked, drawing attention to poor Y/n. Y/n's face became red with embarrassment. "Why you little!" Y/n muttered underneath his/her breath. "Sure! I would love to order a big order of f/f!" Y/n exclaimed. I snapped my fingers and in a instant! A chef set down a plate of Y/n's f/f in front of Y/n. I looked on over at Deadpool. Deadpool set his feet up onto the table and leaned back in his chair. "Chimichangas Mystique." He announced. "It's Ivy." I corrected him on my name. "Okay Jean!" Deadpool said, chuckling silently in his head. That boy did not know that I could read his mind. But! We need to play it safe tonight. Mum wouldn't like this one bit. I walked away and watched as the chefs did what they did. I just watched whatever Deadpool did. He had other plans for tonight with Y/n. Dark and dirty ones. Man, I wish I would've worn the brown pants tonight. I studied Y/n's every move. About all s/he did had been to stuff his/her mouth with food while Deadpool just attempted to flirt. Y/n, unfortunately ignored him. "Hey! Ummm...........sooooooo, we just met two days ago and umm........I still didn't get your name! Babe!" Deadpool reached out his hand to shake. Y/n didn't take too kindly to this unfortunately. "Ex-Ex-Ex-Excuse me?! You fucking blew up my work, attempted to kidnap me to do who knows what! And then you wanna become lovers?! This is not out it works Romeo! It isn't fucking Heathers!" Y/n then slapped Deadpool across the face. Deadpool really seemed pissed. "Who lit the fuse on your tampon?" Deadpool asked. I could feel my panic bubbling to the surface. My heart raced. I bit my lip and looked at the crazy couple. Then, one thought came through my lips. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger Wade!" I yelled aloud from a corner of the room. Everyone's attention went to me. Now, all eyes on me. Quinn came running in, blowing air horns.
This became utter chaos. I looked over at Deadpool.
Well, I guess we should call quits!
I agree! I ain't staying for this!
Aw, c'mon on!
Deadpool took a deep breath then turned back to Y/n. "Let's try this again!" Deadpool began. He straightened his back and sat up straight. He held out his hand for a shake. "Name's Wade!" Deadpool announced, trying to have a positive attitude? Y/n had her/his arms crossed across her/his chest. Y/n rolled her/his eyes then shook his hand. "Y/n." S/he muttered under his/her breath. "I'm sorry?" Deadpool asked, getting closer to hear what Y/n had said. "Ugh..........it's-it's-it's-it's Y/n, Y/n, Y/n." Y/n replied. "Ah! Nice name babe!" Deadpool commented and patted Y/n's head. "Do you mind? I'm trying to steal one of your chimichangas." Y/n announced. Quinn and I cracked a laugh. "Ohhhh!" Quinn laughed as me and her cracked open a soda can. We both made a toast then drank it down like Bipper does. But with goggles! Throughout the night I kept hearing some insults being thrown around but being deflected with compliments. This would be the ultimate wall break that I've ever done. I watched as Deadpool got out of his chair and held a hand out to Y/n. "This is a good one for your time." Deadpool said. Y/n took a moment to process this then looked over at me for advice. I gave him/her the thumbs up. Y/n took Deadpool's hand and they made their way to the dance floor. I watched as they both attempted to dance to For Your Entertainment. I looked over at Quinn. "Do you think it's okay for a crossover? If so, what should I do?" I asked her. Quinn shrugged, not really having any answer. "Do not question me on this! I have way too many unfinished business to take care of!" Quinn replied. "What should I really do?" I asked myself, looking down at my soda can. I then looked up from the soda can to then look at the cute couple dancing.
Ooooooooooooh!
I feel sick!
Or maybe! That's just the butterflies!
I don't remember eating any this fine afternoon!
No! Not those kind!
Kinky!
Is it wrong to touch Y/n's ass?
I do not know how to answer that question........
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Or! Maybe! A kiss on your lips in the moonlight! Just a touch of the fire burning so bright!
Ummmmm...........are you trying to scar Y/n for life with back flashes?
Kinky!
I looked over at Quinn. "Someone's horny." I announced. "Is it Loki?" Quinn asked. We both began to laugh at her question. "Oh yeah baby!" I responded through my giggles. I looked over at the cute couple as they got close. Really, really close. I suddenly noticed Y/n become brave enough to rest his/her head on Deadpool's shoulder. S/he smiled over at me as we all listened to the song.
I'm here for your entertainment!
Yeah...........baby!
✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌
Do you want me to appear more often? ~
I.H.
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