Kyungsoo's POV
"What are you reading?"
I snapped my head up when I heard Jongdae talking to Hani. The flower that was growing in my hand withered and dying, turned into mere black dust before it was blown away by air. Hani looked up in surprise at Jongdae, not believing that he had talked to her. His stare fell down to the book she was holding under the sheet of paper she had scribbled something on to help Chanyeol's speech.
"Err, nothing," she quickly closed the small book and placed it under her leg, where no one could see the title. I tried to peek at the book from where I was sitting, but she noticed and shot me a glare, hiding it more under her thighs. I only smirked.
"Kyungsoo hyung," I snapped my head up when I heard Kai calling me, and the taller boy sat gingerly beside me, expression glum. I gave Hani and Jongdae one more stare, realizing that the girl had called Chanyeol once again to resume their speech exercises, before looking back at Jongin with furrowed eyebrows.
"What's wrong with you? You look down," I asked him right away, and Jongin blew on a sigh before looking down at his toes. He wasn't wearing any of the shoes Hani had bought him, which wasn't something to be worried about because Kai never was a fan of shoes that much.
"Jongdae hyung doesn't speak with me," Kai mumbled, looking sad and distraught. I never was fond of emotions and all that sentimental crap, it made me feel weak.
"It's not something new to be honest, he had always been crap for a step-brother," I sighed through my nose, my eyes following after Hani, who was smiling in encouragement at Chanyeol who looked beaten up for not being able to speak.
"He's not a crappy step-brother," Jongin protested weakly, and I turned to him with an annoyed face. "He had went through so much and I—"
"Here we go again, Jongin. Goddamn it, whatever happened in the past isn't an excuse for treating you so horribly," I snapped, and Kai sulked even more. He curled around himself like a fucking baby and I was urged to face palm. Rolling my eyes, I turned to look at Hani, a scowl on my face. "You both shared the same horrible father. It's unfair he's putting all of the weight on you when you are merely a victim."
"You wouldn't understand..." he mumbled weakly, looking so distraught and fragile that I felt the same. I didn't like it when my friends – even Jongdae, felt so helpless and sad. Again, emotions are weaknesses I would like to kill.
"Of course I wouldn't understand, I've never had an older half brother who blames me for my father's disappearance. I surely wouldn't understand," I said sarcastically, and Kai sent me a weak glare that honestly reminded me of a drenched dog. He had always been soft.
"You're awfully mean these days," he commented, and I shot him a fake smile. I don't know what he was talking about.
"What do you mean? I've always been mean," I replied plainly, a bitter taste of something on my tongue. I didn't know why I had reacted in that way when I knew exactly what he was talking about.
"You'd like to believe that, so you acted like it. Why? Is it because of Hani?" I sniffed at his words, squinting my eyes at him threateningly. What does Hani have to do with any of this? At my stare, Kai relented, but he still wasn't having enough of his interrogation.
"If it isn't Hani then what? You are usually mean but ever since we found you, you are meaner, and you snap a lot."
"And you are being a chatterbox. Tell me, is that because of Hani?" I dodged the question skillfully. It wasn't because I didn't know what the cause of that was, but more that I didn't want to discuss it with anyone; because my answer depends upon my feelings and that was the only thing that had weakened me, that had made me the person I am today, and I don't think I want to connect to that part of my life anymore. It had weakened me greatly before, and I don't want that to happen again.
