Courage ✔

Chapter 19

Sighing, Fili looked at the wounded faces of his uncle and brother. After Alyssae's angry words they had both stopped fighting, although they didn't even look at each other now.

"I meant what I said," Kili grumbled. "Stay away from her."

"And what if she wants to be around?" Thorin resounded. "Have you ever considered that?"

"Why would she ever want that?" Kili sniffed, sweeping away the blood from his cheek.

"I have no idea," Thorin muttered.

"Why did you bow towards her if you weren't going to hurt her?" Fili asked carefully.

"Maybe I don't hate her as much as you think I do." He didn't look at them but studied his wrist which had received some kicks from Fili.

"But you do hate her," Fili concluded disappointedly.

"You are the ones who are so convinced of that."

Suddenly Kili looked up. "You didn't answer his question. What were you doing?"

Fili saw his uncle staring uncomfortably in the distance and his brother started to laugh all of a sudden. "In Durin's name... you have to be joking, right?" The tears that ran over his cheeks left behind traces.

"What?" Fili asked, who could rhyme nor reason it.

"He's in love with her! He -"

The rest of the sentence was inaudible by Kili's laughter. Fili stared at his uncle in disbelief. That was the last thing he'd expected to hear...

"Yes, I am in love with her," Thorin grumbled, after which he stood up. "And keep your mouths shut, because we are dead if the elf king finds out."

"Does she know?" Kili asked eagerly, but their uncle didn't want to share more information with them and walked away in large steps.

"Of course she knows," Fili mumbled, who suddenly knew what his uncle had been about to do. Kissing her. "It surely explains why she stood up for him."

Kili whistled. "Wow, I hadn't foreseen this."

Now Fili thought about it, it didn't seem illogical at all. He remembered she'd been worried Thorin didn't like her - although the opposite was supposedly true. Something he had wanted to hide.

"She said to me she was in love with Bofur."

"And you're surprised she lied to you?"

Fili kept silent. He understood why she wanted to keep her feelings about Thorin secret, for before tonight she'd plausibly expected her feelings wouldn't turn out to be mutual.

"This also explains why he got so angry after you kissed her." Kili roared in laughter again. "He must have been dying of jealousy. Would they've kissed already?"

Fili didn't want to think about that. After her rejection, he'd hoped she would stay with Bofur so she would be around, but Thorin was his uncle. He couldn't believe things wouldn't go wrong. His uncle was alone for as long as he knew and it was strange to picture him with a woman - let alone with an elf.

The elf he loved.

"Let's go back." Fili had the feeling he couldn't bear much more. He wondered what Alyssae saw in Thorin. Of course, he was a great leader who was praised for his boldness, but he hadn't particularly behaved very friendly towards her.

Unintentionally he wondered what he had done wrong. Would she have loved him, if he had been yelling at her for any thinkable reason?

. . .