Mark's POV:
I don't remember what exactly happened at that point, it's like I have a black hole in my memory.
What I do remember, though, is that I walked home with Jackson. He talked sweet to me the whole time and told me a thousand times that he loves me and everything is going to be alright. And that we are going to tell the police what happened and they'll take care of Evan.
But I said no.
I said we are not going to tell anyone. I said he can tell someone over my dead body. I don't want anyone to know that I, a grown man, couldn't defend myself. That I, a grown man, just panicked and cried. That I, a grown man, almost got raped.
He said that what Evan did was wrong and that we should definetly contact authorities so that this wouldn't happen.
But I said no again.
I can defend myself, I said to him. I said that I'd beat him up if he ever comes close to me. I promised that I'd take care of myself.
But I love you, he said. I want to take care you, he said.
But I said no.
Nobody finds out.
I am too ashamed of my patheticness. Jackson said it's okay to not know what to do in situtations like that. He said there's nothing wrong with me and it wasn't my fault. I know it wasn't my fault. I also know that none of that wouldn't have happened if I just walked past him.
I hate myself for that.
I felt ashamed, ridiculed, exposed and pathetic. How could I let Evan do something like this to me? I felt like I had lost my right to remain untouched, as if Evan had ruined me. Made my body sinful, in a way.
Jackson told me he loves me, no matter what happened. That I will always remain beautiful for him. That nothing will ever change his mind. He told me my body is not sinful, he told me I am pure, an angel that can do no wrong. He told me loves me for what I am, not what Evan wants me to be.
With shaky hands, I cupped his cheeks and kissed him very softly.
"I love you" I said.
