M.E Is Not Me

Normalisation

Once again Alissia was led out of the room as Arianna marched out not even explaining to her where they were going. A strange thing happened as the young girl just wanted to collapse onto the bed she had just been shown, it was a strange desire, yes she was a little jet lagged but it was around half past five now in England which was an extremely early bed time for a girl of her age. She felt as if she couldn’t walk anymore as she was so abnormally tired that each step was like she had a chain wrapped around her entire body, like she had to pull a ginormous bolder down the long corridor. It was hard to talk as she wanted to ask her mother where they were going now but she couldn’t seem to get the words out. It was awful, and she assumed she was getting ill again “Maybe it’s just a cold or the flu or something?” she thought as the desire to sleep for a long time was growing worst. She was now quite a distance away from Arianna who had ignored her for the entire way, eventually she noticed just how far behind she was and she wasn’t too happy about it “FOR CHRIST SAKE I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT TO BE HERE BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS WHEN THAT IDIOT OF AN OLD MAN SENT YOU- HURRY UP FOR GOD SAKE!” She screamed this directly at the girl who was lent resting against one of the walls, they had climbed all the way to the top of the building now and since only one room was up here the area boomed with silence making her words personified. Her daughter felt insulted. “That ‘old man’ is Egor you’re talking about, my grandfather and your father! How dare you speak about him like that!” “I will dare if I please Miss Alexandrov since he is nothing but a pathetic loser of an artist!” “Why the hell do you hate him so much all he has ever been to me is loving and caring!” She really didn’t want to argue right now, she wasn’t one to fight but she really didn’t have the energy as she was still slumped against the wall. Arianna didn’t know what to say to that, she couldn’t have this confrontation, not here, not now “Get off that wall child” she said weakly “This is my room, were going to sort out that appearance of yours and make you look like a presentable dancer, not like a disgusting old hippy”.

She was marched into Arianna’s room; her mother marched into the bathroom leaving her for a second to look around. A teal colour scheme had been used in this room as little personality was shown throughby the lack of accessories. Her life’s achievements however were displayed everywhere as black and white British newspaper clipping’s called her a ‘Spectacular Swan Queen’ as a photograph lay underneath of her taking a curtsey with what seemed like hundreds of roses showering her. The only other feature of the room was a giant built in closet locked and secured heavily, she touched the silver lock as Arianna re-entered the room. “You can’t get in there” She sneered “You seem so curious about everything but there really isn’t much to say” she was referring to their previous disagreement about Egor “You need to get ready anyway, I’ve run you a bath- something you’ve obviously never had by the state of you. Wash your hair- please use all the shampoo if you must, I’ll be back in a few minutes” She said this in a mocking tone and stormed out, finally leaving her daughter in peace.

Alissia sat in the murky water, she reflected on all that had happened in such a short space of time. It was insane to think about how a week ago her life was so normal, how she had spent her days painting with Egor or chilling with Katrina. She missed them both terribly as she wondered if they felt the same. he thought of Egor sat on his own in the dark, nobody to talk to and just painting by himself, a small tear ran down her face and she felt idiotic for leaving him “How could I be so stupid!?” she whispered as she felt as if she was about the cry- she wanted to be back home, not in this strange place with these strange people, especially when she felt so ill. The tiredness was really taking its toll now as she couldn’t hold on any longer- her heavy eyelids shut as she slid further down into the bath unknowingly...

She awoke to screaming as the filthy water splashed around her, Arianna’s was yelling in her face as she felt her body being dragged up, water poured out of her nose and mouth “ALISSIA! Oh my god you stupid girl!” she sobbed as she crouched on the floor at the side of bath, she went to hug her and then remembered she was completely naked- she cleared her throat resuming her normal self and threw a towel at her “Get yourself dry Miss Alexandrov, we need to style that ridiculous hair of yours. Oh and put these on” She placed a uniform on top of the wash basket and swiftly exited.

After drying off Alissia put on the clothes she had been left, they seemed fairly plain as a black leotard and ballet skirt had been left with white ballet tights and shoes. They were made out of a stretchy material which showed off her skinny figure. She admired herself in the full length mirror before exiting to find Arianna stood next to her dressing table with an array of hair and beauty products; she looked at her daughter as she entered the bedroom. “Ahh the same size as me I thought you were, you have very good posture, you should do fine in ballet with some training”

Alissia’s head was pulled back violently as the ‘pampering’’ began as a brush was pulled aggressively through her wild mane of hair “Good lord I don’t think this has ever been brushed!” she yelled as Alissia screamed in pain “You’ll feel much more pain in ballet than this Miss Alexandrov!” She laughed. After every last knot had been thoroughly combed out Arianna trimmed the ends of Alissia’s hair and did a far better job than she used to do. Her hair was blow dried to give it some more volume and after every strand was bone dry the hair dryer was switched off. The two stared in awe at her tumbling curls which hung in natural ringlets, Arianna touched one of them gently as she said “Your father had curly hair” She was alarmed at her statement and shook her in confusion to why she had said that. She began to pull her daughters hair back into a bun, Alissia didn’t dare ask any more questions.

After her hair was done her mother applied a little pressed powder to her clear skin and then added mascara and winged eyeliner. With that she was done and Arianna stood back smiling a little/ “There! Like a true Russian Ballet dancer, I assume you must be hungry so I will lead you down to the hall where everyone will be now”. They walked down in silence together, but for once it wasn’t awkward. There was a slight bond between the two relatives now, not like the bond Alissia had with Egor but still- they did feel like family now. As they entered the hall Alissia was astounded by the size of it, it was much bigger than the entrance hall where she had first arrivedm but it didn’t seem as big as the hundreds of students both male and female sat in small groups with the teachers all on a head table at the top of the hall. Silence broke as every person started at the mother and daughter; the word had obviously been spread about Alissia being her child. Arianna led Alissia to the table where a lot of the Grade Five students were and plonked her down with Camilla, Serena and Rosabelle. She marched to the front as confident as ever and stood at the front addressing them all “Now since the only people who have met our new girl here are Miss Lupton and her loyal followers I don’t need to make any enquiry to investigate who has spoken out against me. But yes, this” She gestured towards Alissia “Is Alissia Alexandrov, and as I’m sure you’ve all heard she is my daughter, and she has never danced before” A few of the teachers looked horrified “But as I am the greatest dancer to ever prance about this school and therefore naturally the best teacher, I assure you my own flesh and blood will live up to the same standards without fail”. She sat down at her own table triumphantly- Alissia looked horrified, A dark haired guy sat opposite her poked her with his foot “No pressure then Gorgeous” he winked with a cheeky smile and Alissia winked back at him.