Only One For Me (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Part VIII

Kai

As much as the busyness of recitals and finally getting certified took my mind of the other stressful things in my life, I was glad when it was all over. The guilt of not being able to spend more time with Kyungsoo was killing me, but since I finally had more time on mu hands, I planned to make it up to him. I just hoped it wasn't too late.

I had just arrived to the apartment the night were over, immediately look up at our kitchen window to see if the light was on. It wasn't. I hadn't really seen him or been able to get a hold of him for the most of the day because he was now busy with finals, so I supposed it made sense, but that didn't stop me from feeling disheartened. 

After letting out a sigh, I began to make my way up. But before I could get to the stairs, I heard a car pull up behind me and turned back around. I recognized Kyungsoo in the passenger's side immediately but not the driver, but I figured it was safe to assume that was Hyunsik. They were talking and laughing about something, the sight making my stomach churn in discomfort. I turned back around, hoping I would have a chance to go inside before either of them spotted me, mostly because I knew I was not in the right emotional headspace to meet him. 

I was able to make it up to the apartment, taking a deep breath and resting my back against the front door for a moment after I got inside and shut it. I took a few more breaths before slipping my shoes off, deciding that a hot shower was what I need to de-stress. But before I could even make it to the bedroom, the front door opened and Kyungsoo walked in. 

"Hi," he said as his smile and laugh were fading. He glanced at me before starting to take his shoes off. "Did you just get in? I thought I saw you coming up when I got here."

"Uh, yeah," I said plainly and shortly.

His movements visibly slowed down as he blinked at me a few times. "Well, Hyunsik dropped me off. You could have met him."

"Oh, too bad. Maybe next time," I said before swiftly turning around and heading into the bedroom. I didn't stay long enough to see his reaction, and I was hoping we would just be able to drop the subject altogether. I should have known better than to think that.

"Is something wrong?" he asked in a voice that was still soft but definitely filled with tension. I looked back behind me as he approached the bedroom, stopping right before the threshold. "Are you angry at me or something?"

I sighed and turned back around. "No. I'm just tired," I lied, really not feeling up for another argument that particular night. 

"Is it Hyunsik? Are you still upset about what my mom said?" he pressed on. 

I closed my eyes. "I don't really want to talk about this right now," I said. 

"You never want to talk. That's exactly the problem." I exhaled again and opened my eyes. "I can understand that you don't always want to talk about everything all the time, but it's starting to feel like you don't want to talk to me at all, Kai."

After letting go of another small breath, I turned around and faced him. "I'm sorry for not being ready to talk exactly when you want to be," I said, causing him to let out a frustrated sigh. "But if you're demanding I do, fine. I'll tell you every single thing I'm feeling right now. Yes, I'm still upset about what your mom said about your Hyunsik dating. It fucking sucks and it makes me insecure. I'm also feeling upset because you didn't come to even one of the recitals I've been working my ass off on or even send me a 'congratulations on your teaching certification' text today. But more prominently than those things, I'm mad that you keep getting angry at me for not being as extroverted as you are. It really fucking pisses me off that you can't see how hard I'm trying to talk to you and open up to you, but because I'm not writing down every little thing I've ever felt in my life, every argument we have is somehow my fault." I sighed heavily. "Is that good enough for you or should I keep going?"