You never know how much your heart can take until you test it. I've found that my heart its strong from all the things that have happened to me. I'm not saying I've had a particularly hard life, but I'm not saying everything's always great either. I got my share of bad things in life, and I'm learning to accept it.
The video has gotten plenty of positive feedback, and a good amount of views and apparently the people at youtube think that it would be a good idea if they started paying me again if I started posting more content; or at least, that's what I got out of the phone call they gave me today.
I never thought of YouTube as an option after the breakup, simply because I hurt too much, I had to let it go. Good thing it came back, because that coffee shop is pure agony. I think that made me feel worse about everything, but I needed the job. I payed my rent to a shabby apartment complex with dirt in every corner. Maybe with this new found happiness I could finally go back and meet with all the people who left me, just to show them that I could last. Maybe I could even forgive some of them, I know how hard it is to try and cheer people up who seem to be permanently sad. Maybe I should be the one who needs to be forgiven? I pushed everyone away, thinking I was the only one who could ever understand the amount of sadness I carried with me, thinking nothing really mattered anyways.
Everything I had mattered.
Everything I had I now want back.
I tend to make dumb decisions when I'm oblivious of how bad things really are. I lost someone I loved, if you think about that situation with positivity you'd think "He would've died when you were with him if this hadn't happened" because that's the horrible way of the positive mind, right? Things weren't as bad as they seemed. Sure, I'd look on tumblr and every quote I'd see would remind me of him; but this was bond to happen with someone. The thing is, it happened with him and that's just something I need to get over.
With the urge to get over this in mind, I read the comments on the video I uploaded the night before. I scrolled past a few negative comments that were intertwined within a few nice ones, and the occasional "I don't get it" (A/N I'm sorry but if you understand this joke you're amazing, continue reading) and replied to some questions.
For the rest of the day I just sat around- as usual- but this time I wasn't sad. I was trying to believe that this was really happening. I think I'm going to be okay again.
___
hello
follow its-braya on tumblr thanks
this is just a thanky for 50 followers and 100 reads
what do I even say at this point, you guys have done so much for me. Just know I really love you and you're v cute, dont let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Heres a joke bc its really necessary atm
two muffins are in an over. One muffin says "gosh it's hot in here". The other muffin scream "AHH!111! A TALKING MUFFIN11!"
that was my joke from 3rd grade. My question is why is there only 2 muffins in an oven?
okie.
I LOVE YOU MY LUCKY STARS
STAY POSITIVE
BYEEE
YOU ARE READING
Lungs // Jc Penny
Fanfiction"It depends on if I'm going to fake a smile when I'm around you, or if you could truly make me happy again." We both knew what was coming. We both knew how hard it was to be happy, but the void in my heart turned into a hole. Something I could final...
