Troubled Past 《SNOWBARRY》

《3》

Barry

I just sat there for hours. Just thinking. About what life could have been if I hadn't left Caitlin. Would we have had children?  Could we have gotten married? A cool light breeze brought me back to the rooftop, my spine shivered. I left the rooftop and left the bar. I sat in my car in the parking lot and started thinking again. I shouldn't have left her. We could've have been more, if only I had stayed with her. I slammed my palm on the steering wheel sending a loud honk throughout the parking lot.  What have I done? My forehead rested on top of the wheel, tears slowly dripping down my face.

The next day was tough, surpressing all my emotions when ever I saw Caitlin walk by. Cisco had noticed mine and came over to me.
"Hey Barry, why the long face?" He asked putting one arm on my desk and leaning on it.
"Huh wha-," I said suddenly realising that he was there.
"You've been acting really depressed and yourself lately," said Cisco looking down at me.
"I don't know really," I said lying to him, I didn't want him to know about Caitlin and I.
"Why don't I take you down to Jitters and let me take your mind off things," said Cisco closing my laptop that I was working on.
"Fine," I said not really wanting to go.

"Two coffees!" Called out one of the guys at front counter.
"That's me," I said thanking him and taking the two mugs back to the two puffy chairs where Cisco was waiting for me. I handed over the mug,  steam bellowing out the top.

"I have noticed that you have been really weird around Caitlin," said Cisco inquisitively. I wasn't going to crack this easily and I was just really tired because I didn't get much sleep last night.
"Really?" I asked denying the whole event.
"I'm just really tired," I said truthfully.
"That coffee should wake you up," said Cisco taking a large mouthful of his. The rest of our afternoon consisted of some more coffee and yrs talking about some regrettable stuff that we have done.
"The worst I ever wore was when I thought wearing one of the shirts I brought from the Harry Potter exhibition that I had begged my parents to go to and I wore it to school, that was a mistake. I came home with several spit balls stuck to the back of my shirt," I said.
"I was afraid they were going to ruin such a good shirt,"
"I took my Flash backpack one day, that bag never came to school with me ever again," said Cisco laughing.
"There were only a few people who read comics at my school, it was kinda like a secret society of nerds," I said joining Cisco laughing.

"Barry we should start to head back," said Cisco getting up out of his chair stretching his legs from the long amount of time we sat talking.
"Yea, its been 2 hours, someone will be looking for us,"

"Barry, I need to speak to you," said a voice I would have rather not heard. It was Caitlin. She quickly slid on the elevator before the doors close. I try to ignore her.
"Barry what is up with you lately? You have been avoiding me and everytime we are together you pretend I'm not even here," said Caitlin. I could sense the anger in her voice.
"I thought you wanted to forget about us, pretend it never happened," I said snapping.
"I just didn't want things to be awkward between us," she said, her voice significantly dropping in volume.
"I don't think it ever will be between us, you can't change the past, you might as well just accept the fact that we were a thing and we once loved each other," I said calming down a bit.
"I have accepted it," spat Caitlin.
"It sure doesn't seem like it, all you want to do is act like it never happened,"
"It has been hard," said Caitlin, her eyes tearing up.
"It's been just as hard for me," I said.
"You wouldn't understand," she said.  The elevator doors open releasing all the tension in the air and allowing Caitlin to leave me alone once again. Why do I have to always screw things up? Barry Allen the bioengineer who can't help but snap at everyone. I tried to get back to work and let the science take my mind off things.  It worked, but it wouldn't work forever.

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