Mafia Betrayal

Chapter Nineteen

Charlotte

Sitting here at breakfast with Luca felt strange. The restaurant he picked was packed, a trendy brunch spot in the middle of the city. It was a far cry from the places he liked to visit, and I knew it was a concession he was making for me. If nothing else, at least he was trying.

I wanted this to feel normal so badly. I wanted to enjoy this time with him. I wanted to relax and let my guard down, and for once, feel like an ordinary couple on an ordinary date. But I couldn't. I didn't feel safe with him right now, and I wasn't sure I ever would again. 

What Grant did was wrong, and I would never forgive him for it, but it didn't change the rest of mine and Luca's story. The parts where I left him. Lied to him. Kept his daughter from knowing him. Or the parts where he treated me like trash. Pulled a gun on me. Hit me. How did we ever move past those things?

"I've heard the quiche is really good." Luca offered, staring intently at the menu. 

I couldn't help but smile. "The quiche? Seriously?" 

Luca looked confused, and then let out a sharp laugh. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. There is so much I should say, but I don't know where to start." 

"I'm sure you've got some questions for me." I offered, crossing my arms over my chest. 

He nodded. "That day with Marco... when you... You said Antonio paid you off? What did you mean?"

I pressed my lips together, the sting of that day just as fresh as ever. "When I found out I was pregnant, I tried to reach out to you. I didn't have my old phone, so I didn't have your number, and so I emailed you. Or at least I thought it was you, but Antonio intercepted it somehow. He showed up in Greece with a big cheek for me so I could get an abortion." Luca's eyes widened as I paused, trying to keep my composure as memories flooded me. I liked to think that I put it all behind me, but recounting that day for Luca made me realize it still stung more than I wanted to admit. "He told me that it's what you would have wanted if you knew." 

"Jesus Christ." Luca shoved his fingers through his hair. "Did you really think..." 

"No, I didn't." I said. "But then he started telling me how the Mafia ruins people and how it wasn't fair for me to tell you about the baby. That we'd just be holding you back. And how Layla would be in constant danger. I shouldn't have, but I let it get into my head. And I convinced myself that I was doing the right thing and that I needed to protect her."

Luca was quiet for a minute, clenching his jaw. "I don't blame you for letting him get to you. I know how manipulating he can be, and I know you were just trying to keep her safe. I just wish you would have tried again." 

"I did." I reminded him. 

"Grant." He gritted his teeth. 

"Yeah." I let out a heavy breath. This was the part that hurt me the worst. "I was really sick when I was pregnant, and I got an infection. I went into labor two and a half months early and I had to have surgery to make sure she was born safe." I squeezed my eyes shut. 

"The scar that I saw." 

I nodded. "When they told me that she was coming early I just... nothing else mattered to me and I needed you. All I wanted was you to be there with me. And Grant told me..."

Luca didn't hold back anymore. He grabbed my hand, gently stroking the back of it with his thumb. I nearly came undone right then, his gentle touch so familiar and intimate, and a painful reminder of the good parts I'd shoved away.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone." Tears welled up in his eyes. "I would have been there with you in a second if I had known."

"I know that now, Luca. And I think I knew that then, too. I was just in shock and emotional and I trusted him. Which I never should have done." I was so angry. Angry at Grant. Angry at Antonio. But mostly angry with myself for letting myself get so easily manipulated. 

"Believe me, he's going to pay, Charlotte. He's going to regret all the shit he did to keep us apart." 

The gravity of what he was saying hung in the air as we sat at the table. I knew exactly what meant by making Grant pay, and I knew he wouldn't hold anything back. Of course, he deserved it, but it still wasn't easy to hear. It was silent for a few minutes as we both settled. 

"Can I ask you something I don't have any right to know the answer to?" Luca finally asked, stumbling over the words. 

"Sure." My chest tightened, wondering where this was heading. 

"Did you and Grant ever..." He trailed off, not even able to finish the thought. 

'No." I cut him off. "We didn't, Luca. I promise. He wasn't even with us most of the time. There wasn't anyone else. Not ever." 

Relief washed over his face. "There wasn't anyone else for me either, Charlotte. I didn't sleep with anyone else while you were gone." 

"What?" I frowned. "But the other night, you said..." 

"I know what I said, but it wasn't true. I didn't sleep with her. I was... I wanted you to think I did because I knew it would hurt you. I'm not proud of it but it's the truth." 

I pressed my lips together. "We can't keep doing this, Luca. We can't keep hurting each other. What Grant did was wrong, but we're fucked up, too.  I don't want our daughter to grow up thinking it's okay to treat people the way we have been." 

"I don't want that, either." 

"I want you to be in Layla's life, Luca, but we can't live like this. It's not healthy for anyone." 

He nodded. "If you want to go back to Savannah, I won't stop you." 

I let out a heavy breath. Was that what I wanted? 

If I was honest with myself, it wasn't. I wanted to be with Luca. I wanted to stay here with him and raise our daughter and make everything right between us again. I wanted the old Luca back. 

"I don't want to leave, Luca." I bit my lip. 

"You don't?" He seemed surprised. 

I shook my head. "No, but I don't know if I want to stay, either."

"Look, Charlotte, the way I've been acting..." He reached across the table, setting just his fingertips on top of mine, like he was holding himself back from grabbing my hand entirely. "I know you have no reason to think otherwise, but it's not who I am. And I want the chance to prove that to you. I don't deserve, but I'm asking anyway." 

"I want to fix things. I really, really do. But I want to be clear about something. I'm willing to stay here, and work on this with you, but the second that you treat me like you have been, the second you get physical like that again...I'm out. And I'll take Layla with me, and you won't see ever her again."

"That's fair." I nodded. "But I won't let it come to that. I don't want to become my father. I want to give you the life you deserve. Be the kind of person worthy of you."

I glanced away, sucking in a sharp breath. "Luca, I think we need to start as friends." 

Luca arched his eyebrow at me like I was speaking another language. "Friends?" 

"It's been years since we've been together. How do we know it's even what we want anymore?" I fought back tears. If I was going to give this another shot with Luca, we had to be absolutely sure that it was going to work. The last thing I wanted was to give Layla, or myself, any false hope. 

"Charlotte, I know that a life with you and Layla is what I want. A life where you and I are together and happy and so in love that it hurts. Nothing has changed for me in the last four years, but I'm willing to take it as slow as we need to for you to realize that's what you want, too." 

"And what if it's not that easy?" 

"It can be. You tell me what you need, and I'll do it. If we have to start slow until I can prove it to you, then so be it. I'll move heaven and earth to make this right, Charlotte." He squeezed my hand. "Whatever it takes." 

I nodded, hoping to hell that he was right. That we could figure this out. 

"So how about that quiche?" He shot me playful wink, handing me a menu.