{This one is more personal. :S .............}
Thank you for teaching me to walk.
To talk,
to eat,
for showing me how to be polite,
for making me feel happy as a young child.
For kissing my scratches and bruises, for feeding and clothing me, and for everything else you did.
But there's a lot more you taught me.
That I was lazy.
That I was worthless.
That I was a burden.
That I'm stupid.
That I'm not good enough.
That I'm a horrible child.
Then you see my scars.
You cry.
Then you yell at me.
You call me stupid for finding a way of relief when you where to blind to see my calls for help.
Then, after a few months, you act like I'm 'back to normal' when I just got better at hiding it.
I start cutting again because you continue to call me the same names you did when I was little. You continue to push me away when I ask for help. You continue to put me down and make me feel bad about myself.
I try telling you how you make me feel, but all you yell at me some more and say you're a great mother! Even though you, my own mother, pushes me away when I need help and tells me I'm worthless and stupid because I made a mistake. You ask me why I'm sad, well mother, it's because of you. Yes YOU. I don't care if you raised me! You tore me apart! So thank you for giving me a life, and then make it feel like hell.
{I left out a lot in this. She didn't just put me down with just words. Everyone tells me that one day I'll thank her. But for what?! Putting up with My depression YOU mainly caused?! I don't think so. Anyway, sorry about this one. it's not good at all (but none of these are) but I just needed to get this out.... or some of it....}
