Quietly Queer

Chapter 6

~Shawn's POV~

After the rest of my classes, that Jacob walked me to, I walked back to the dorm, alone. I walked in and saw Jacob sitting on his bed with empty beer bottles spread about the room. I closed the door and locked it. I picked up an empty bottle and looked Jacob straight in the eyes. I dropped my bag and tidied up the room. As I leaned down to pick up another bottle, I felt a sharp pain on my bum as I inhaled sharply from the impact. The drunken Jacob had just slapped my bum. The same one who, this morning said 'I'm not gay'. I put the bottle in the recycling bin before getting yanked down onto his bed.

"J-Jacob you aren't sober, w-what are you doing?"

I slumped next to him as he snaked his arm around my waist. I blushed wildly as he pulled me onto his lap. He wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow anyways.. right? I looked down at him as he lied on his back and I quickly realized I was straddling him. I wrapped my arms around myself staring at his shirtless chest. Keeping one arm around myself, I trailed a finger down his chest and to his abs. I blushed insanely and pulled my arm away. This is where I realized I had a crush... on my dorm mate. I tried to get off of him but he put his hands on my hips and held me down. 

"Jacob, let me go.. come on, you aren't sober!" I whimpered

His strong grip would not release. I looked down at him and gave into a desire, I trailed my finger along his bottom lip. I stopped myself trying to pry his hands off. He let go and moved me off so I was laying beside him. He laid on his side fiddling with my dark brown hair. When I tried to get up he put his large hand on my chest and carefully pushed me back down. I groaned and when he heard it he did too.

"Fine just go."

I looked at him with confusion all over my face. I got up and walked over to my bed. He yanked the covers over him and pointed at the light. I turned it off as he rolled over so I couldn't see his face. And laid down in my own bed and curled up. I started to drift off as he jumped up and ran into the bathroom. I shot up and heard him throwing up in the toilet. I got up and walked over to him. I grabbed a small rag and wet it with cold water. I ringed it out and knelt down beside him dabbing it on his forehead. I winced as he threw up some more. When he was done, I dabbed his forehead and wiped his mouth before helping him up. 

"Thanks"

I nodded and helped him back to his bed. He laid back down and I pulled the blanket over him. I laid in my own bed keeping a watch over him. I couldn't fall asleep and kept trying to comprehend what had happened. Is he gay for me? Why did he make me straddle him. He was wasted, probably thought I was a girl. His chest is firm, yet soft. His grip around me made me feel safe. How am I going to face him when he's fully sober? I couldn't get these things off my mind. Tonight made me realize I like him. I really like him. He doesn't like me. He made it pretty clear that he is not gay.