what happened to everything?
all those promises,
all blown away by the wind.
i'm sure, you must be happy
without me, you're free
no longer trapped in the cage,
i imprisoned you with the word,
"yes" when you asked me if i'd be yours
i regret it, i resent it
and maybe it's the anger speaking,
the rage flowing through my veins
but i wish i never answered you
some instances i wish i'd never even met you
the likes of you, the troublemakers
the ones who'd disrupt your life,
"forever" "i love you",
filling it with lies and broken promises -
leaving you when you believed them
and maybe it's the fury that makes me delete,
delete every picture we have, delete everything
delete the goddamn memories, as if you were never there
but i can't even delete, erase you, from my heart
memories i can't get out of my head,
smiles sketched in my heart,
scent that my nose longs for,
and the presence of you that you pressed unto me
and maybe it's the bile threatening to rise up,
and to spill out of my mouth,
when i say your name,
that makes me hate you
because your name was laced with it,
heartbreak, lies-
most of all, it was laced with trust and love,
compassion and need and want all at the same
and it's my wrath others face,
when they even mention your name
telling me you have done a damage to me
that seems to be unfixable,
with it came the advice to move on,
but the wrath came with all the emotions in between
of what we had and when you left
and they'll tell me it's okay to feel what i feel-
that it was normal-
normal to experience the snapping of tendons,
the tears and the irreplaceable damage you've done
it's my wrath, my anger, my hate, fury, resentment, regret
that leads me back to you.
