Suicide and Sorrow

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Masky's POV

        All I could hear was my footsteps padding against the wooden floor. My breath was harsh and ragged as fear coursed through me. I've never been afraid of Toby. I never thought I could be afraid of him. I shut the door of my room behind me with a thud and fell onto the floor. I was still hyperventilating. I blamed it on the running and adrenaline, until I realized I was having a panic attack.

        I brought my hands to my chest. It felt like there was an immense pressure and I couldn't get if off. I curled into a ball. I've never felt so helpless since these past few days and especially now. The edges of my vision became dull and my head was immensely dizzy. Everything hurt. Even though he was the cause of it and of all my troubles, I still wanted Toby to come save me.

Toby's POV

        I can't believe what I just did. I didn't mean it. I get so goddamn emotional and I can't even think straight. I knew I should immediately apologize to Masky, but he looked so scared. Scared of me. I decided that it would be best if I gave him some time to himself. I bother him too much anyways.

        I walk clean up the dishes on the table and slump my shoulders. I dragged my feet across the floor and watched the ground in disappointment for myself. I let out a sigh and open the door to exit. Maybe a walk would help me sort things out. As I opened the door, I was greeted with a familiar face. It was Jeff.

        I sucked a sharp breath in as he stared at me. The tension started to grow as neither of us knew what to say. First I scared off Jeff and now Masky. I really suck at this whole friendship thing.

        "I'm sorry." I spoke up as my gaze connected with his. "I-"

        "Let's just forget it happened okay? Neither of us meant it anyways." He cut me off.

        Ouch. "I'll pretend like that didn't hurt as much as it really did." I shoved past him, bumping my shoulder harshly against his and walked out into the forest.

        The cold air hit my face as my footsteps sped up. I needed to get away from here. I was toxic to the people around me and to myself. God, what's wrong with me?

        After I was some distance away from the mansion, yet the top of the roof still poked out through the trees, I came to a lake. I sat down on the dirt directly in front of it, smearing my once clean jeans. I stared into the water. The reflection was so beautiful and the wind blew small creases into it. I touched the surface of it with my fingertips. It was cold, freezing almost. I heaved a deep breath as a tear escaped from the corner of my eye. I stood up, dusted myself off, and plunged straight into the water.

Hoodie's POV

        I'm getting so many missions now since Masky is too "emotionally unstable" to complete any. I shove my hands into my pocket as I look around into the scenery and that's when I spot Toby. But before I can greet him, he dives into the lake. What the hell? Maybe he was just going for a swim. I nervously chuckle to myself. But after a few minutes pass by and he doesn't surface, the panic sets in.

        "Toby?" I yell to him. "Toby!"

        Fuck, this is why I should've fucking taken those swim lessons with Ben. I sprint back to the mansion, searching for anyone to help. I burst through the doors, but no one's awake. I swear to god, this goddamn house. I run up to Masky's room, knowing he woke up earlier than me for breakfast already. I open his door to find him lying on the ground.

        "Toby's drowning!" I blurt out, but then I realize that something wasn't right with Masky either.

        "Tim?" He instead of responding to my concern, jumps up. I can hear the rattling in his breath as his face began to pale. "Are you having a panic attack again?"

        Masky ignores me and weakly rushes to the door of his room. "Tim, you're not okay."

        "I don't fucking care! Toby's going to die!" He screams as his pace increases. Before I know it, the lake is already coming into my view.

Third Person POV

        Masky falls into a sprint as he sees water. He takes a deep breath mid-run and dives into the lake without hesitation. Coldness envelops his body as he struggles to open his eyes underwater. Frantically, he swims around trying desperately to spot the boy. His heart rate picks up and breaks in concern.

        In his panic, his hand hits a figure, which he immediately assumes is Toby. Masky swims towards it and wraps his arms around it, swimming back to the surface.

        As his head comes out of the water, he takes a large gasp. He paddles towards the dirt and hands Toby to Hoodie. Toby's face was pale and he fell limp onto the ground. His clothes were soaked and was unresponsive. Masky drags himself out of the water. Out of breath, he crawls towards Toby.

        "Masky, he's not breathing!" Hoodie grabs Toby by the shoulders and shakes him violently.

        "Perform CPR!" He shouts at Hoodie.

        "I- I don't know how!" Hoodie embarrassed by his lack of skills in saving Toby, looks away. "You have to."

        Masky scurries over to Toby and takes his head in his hands. He stares at Toby's lips and forces his head to budge forward. He slowly leans forward in anticipation and opens his mouth slightly. The feeling of nervousness creeps into him. His body was buzzing with adrenaline.

        But before their mouths connected, Toby opens his eyes. He chokes as he gasps for air and coughs up water. He tries to sit up immediately, connecting foreheads instead.

        "Fuck." Masky says as he holds his head. Toby continues to cough as the water was burning in his lungs.

        Masky grabs Toby and pats his back firmly, aiding the boy. "What the hell were you doing?" Toby didn't speak. "Did you just decide it'd be a good time to swim in the middle of winter?! Honestly, how stupid can you get?"

        "That's not it." Toby's voice was rasp. The water scratched at his throat.

        Masky lets out a sarcastic laugh. "Did your clumsy ass just fall in then? How old are you? Do you still need a fucking baby-sitter? I bet-"

        "I was trying to kill myself!" Toby screams, leaning his face into Masky's, anger and sorrow filling his eyes. "Next time, just stay out of it Tim. Please." Toby speaks softly as tears stream down his face. He gets up from the judging eyes of Masky and Hoodie as he walks back to the mansion. He had almost gotten what he wanted. Why didn't they just let him die? All Toby wanted was finally some peace in his life and most of all, theirs.

Word Count: 1268

        A/N: You guys didn't really think I'd give you a kiss that easily did you? >:). I would like to apologize once more for the time span of this update. It has been about five months and looking at all the new comments really made me want to continue writing. School is almost out, so I promise to give this book more attention. Thank you for sticking around! Until the next chapter!

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